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A New Perspective

Dealing with a serious illness day in and day out puts things in a different perspective.  

“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven..” 
― John Milton, Paradise Lost

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Vows and Marriage and ALS, Oh My!

4/24/2013

1 Comment

 
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When Akhil and I were married, we opted for the traditional wedding vows promising to love, honor and cherish each other in sickness and in health… 

We made a commitment, not to our own happiness, but to each other, to God and to all in attendance that we would stay married no matter the circumstances. 

We took the vows seriously and hope to live by example for our children that marriage is forever.

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This might hit a nerve with some of you reading this but surprisingly, marriage is not about our own happiness. 

There was nothing in my vows about staying with Akhil as long as he made me happy.  In the traditional vows, there is nothing reciprocal, only a promise to stay no matter what. 

I am not sure where the notion came from that marriage is temporary lasting only as long as one partner meets the other’s expectations and needs.  That is not a commitmment, it's an exchange.

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 We live in a media-infested society that forces images upon us of the “perfect” mate and “ideal” life.  We are convinced that we are entitled to be with the perfect mate even if we are less than ideal ourselves. 

We need to live life a certain way and anything less than that and we cannot be satisfied.  I am thankful I married a man who did not succumb to these falsehoods.  

The grass is always appears greener somewhere else.  The key word being: appears. 

My advice:  It is best not to look in that direction! 



Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.

1 Comment
Linda McNeley
4/24/2013 01:31:50 pm

So beautifully stated, Laura. Thank you for sharing with us.

Reply



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    Laura Jhaveri

    Wife and mother coping with the daily struggles caring for a family with a serious affliction.

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