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A New Perspective

Dealing with a serious illness day in and day out puts things in a different perspective.  

“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven..” 
― John Milton, Paradise Lost

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Memories

11/27/2012

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Someday is not a day of the week!
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Thanksgiving 2012 - A table filled with family makes a great memory!
I don’t know who coined that phrase, but I love it.  When we think we will do things “someday”, that day may never come.  Plan it or be spontaneous, whichever approach you take, make it happen!

We have moved a lot in our married life together.  We jokingly tell people that we are nomads moving from place to place wherever the work leads us.  We have lived in St. Louis twice, Dallas twice, Pittsburgh and Washington State.  Because we have moved so much, we have learned not to put things off for “someday”.  We tend to impulsively and enthusiastically live in each moment.  As a result, we carry special memories with us from each place we have lived.   Being so transient, I love memories.  They are easy to pack.  I can get them out whenever I feel the need to reminisce. They are also in abundant supply!

There are only a couple of areas in our lives where we have been extravagant.  We don’t drive fancy cars or have the latest technological gadgets; but one area where we have chosen to spend money extravagantly is on making memories.  One Mother’s Day, we had a limo pick up our moms and take all of us to a fine restaurant for brunch.  One year, we took my sister and her children on a Caribbean cruise with us.  We have created a memorable life together and hopefully shared some of it with others.  As we see the time we have together winding down, we seek opportunities to make more memories.  These memories may not be as extravagant as a vacation or a limo ride but they will be special nonetheless.  We cherish the time we have as a family at the dinner table simply talking and laughing.

As we enter the holiday season, I hope you will choose to make memories.  Don’t waste time and get stressed out worrying about finding the perfect gift, you already own it.  It is the gift of yourself, your time, your talents, your creativity.  Instead of visiting stores this season, visit the elderly to make some moments that will mean way more to them than any store-bought gift.  Instead of investing in things, invest in your family by slowing down this holiday to take the time to bake cookies with them or create traditions with them that they will remember long after the gift wrap has faded.

Whether we want to admit it or not, we are all transient beings just passing through this world en-route to our final destination.   As loved ones move on from this place, our memories will remain – let’s make some good ones!

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Visiting Santa at the Christmas Tree Farm - November 2012
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Thanksgiving

11/21/2012

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Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

                                                                        James 1:2-4


As we enter this time of Thanksgiving, I was meditating on the above passage found in the Book of James.  I feel like the time of merely facing a trial has passed and now I am walking through it.  When I was first faced with the thought of Akhil having ALS, I honestly couldn't find much joy in it; however, now that the journey has commenced, I can process what I have to be thankful for.  If you also are walking through a time of trial in your life, I hope my list of blessings will help you see the purpose in your suffering.
  • I am thankful for my family, friends and my relationship with God for without them, this would be a scarey, lonely journey
  • I have an understanding of what suffering is although I can still imagine far great suffering than what we are going through
  • I am grateful for the kindness of strangers and acquaintances like the person I met only a couple of times who volunteered to help with Akhil and the person who left me pumpkin bread and a kind neighbor designing a wheelchair ramp for us
  • I have a greater sense of compassion because I know what it is to be hurting and in need of comfort
  • God has put people in my life that wouldn't be there were it not for this illness
  • Akhil's ALS allowed God to restore my daughter's relationship with Him
  • I live the verse, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  
  • I am grateful that God led us to Washington where Akhil works for a wonderful company, Power Engineers, that has supported us every step through this journey.  His illness has given them an opportunity to show the character of their company and I am sure God is proud.
  • It is in suffering that our true character is revealed.  
  • I see how God is using this trial to "polish us" by teaching us things we could never have learned otherwise
  • I am thankful that God's glory can be reflected in us as we continue to walk by faith knowing that God uses ALL things for the good of those who love Him
  • If, because of Akhil's ALS,  just one more person can develop a relationship with God perhaps because they are praying for the first time in their life or because they see something in us that they want so they too can persevere when challenges come, this suffering is all worth it.
5 Comments

What You Bring to the Table

11/19/2012

1 Comment

 
I was reading an article in December’s issue of Real Simple magazine about what to bring if you’re asked to make a potluck dish.  It was suggested, “If you’re asked to bring a main course, surprise them with Sausage, Cauliflower and Kale Potpie.”  I don’t know if you find that as funny as I did, but I laughed out loud when I read that!  I could just envision me taking that to a holiday potluck and the response it would get when people, tricked by the flaky crust, would expect traditional comfort food and be surprised to find kale and cauliflower!  I am guessing if I took that to a potluck, it would be the last time I was asked to bring a main course.  I would probably be relegated to bringing bread or salad if I am asked again at all!

Whether we like it or not, in life we are judged by what we bring to the table – good food, a positive attitude, charming conversation skills.   I know people are looking at us as we go through this struggle with ALS and checking out what we bring to the table.  I hope they see a positive attitude and a deep faith in God.  I am sure at times they see fear and sadness but most of the time I think they will see joy.
No matter what, I know God loves us and will keep inviting us to his banquet regardless of what we bring to the table.  That's a good thing since I probably didn't bring my best today.

1 Comment

    Laura Jhaveri

    Wife and mother coping with the daily struggles caring for a family with a serious affliction.

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