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A New Perspective

Dealing with a serious illness day in and day out puts things in a different perspective.  

“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven..” 
― John Milton, Paradise Lost

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The Storm

2/25/2013

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I was invited to speak last Sunday at a friend's church.  After much contemplation and a few revisions, I felt led to focus on Mark 4:35-41 "The Storm".  I incorporated the video "Beautiful" into my presentation so the first segment may look familiar to you!  It includes the audio portion of my introduction followed by the "Beautiful" video.
Due to YouTube limitations, the presentation had to be broken down into three segments.  So, if you are interested, listen to them in order.  
I hope you enjoy my application of "The Storm".  
Thank you  to my wonderful husband for having the foresight to record the audio and for putting in the time to create these videos.
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Good Friends and Chocolate

2/24/2013

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My wonderful friend, Allison, came to visit last weekend from Dallas, Texas.  There is nothing better than time with a good friend.  We enjoyed the outdoors together hiking in the gorge, ate ice cream and chocolate and just talked.  You know someone is a good friend when you haven’t seen each other in years and yet you can pick up right where you left off!  I also find that chocolate and a glass of red wine can bridge those missing years in no time!

I recently spoke at a church about the storm my family is going through and I mentioned that relationships can be the life preservers that help get you through the storm.  My main life preserver is, of course, my relationship with God but Allison’s visit was also that for me.  It was like someone threw me a rope so I could come up for air for a few minutes before I was tossed back in the waves to struggle some more.  I hope you can be that “life preserver” to someone you are close to or even someone you are not all that close to!  Maybe the storm is there to drive you into a closer relationship.  Be sure you look around to see who might silently be calling for help.

In times when there is no human life preserver, I console myself with chocolate.  I am sharing my new favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe below.  I hope you enjoy and think of me when you make them!  You could really let me know you are thinking about me by bringing me a few :) 

                                                                          Salted Dark Chocolate Chip Cookies
   3 cups all-purpose flour
   2 teaspoons baking powder
   1 teaspoon kosher salt
   1/2 teaspoon baking soda
   1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
   1 1/2 cups (packed) light brown sugar
   1 cup sugar
   1/2 cup powdered sugar
   4 large egg yolks
    2 large eggs
    2 teaspoons vanilla extract
                                                                          16 ounces dark chocolate chips 
                                                                          Maldon or other flaky sea salt

1.     Place racks in upper and lower thirds of oven and preheat to 375°. Whisk flour, baking powder, kosher salt, and baking soda in a medium bowl; set aside.

2.     Using an electric mixer on medium speed, beat butter, brown sugar, sugar, and powdered sugar until light and fluffy, 3-4 minutes. Add egg yolks, egg, and vanilla. Beat, occasionally scraping down the sides of the bowl, until mixture is pale and fluffy, 4-5 minutes. Reduce mixer speed to low; slowly add dry ingredients, mixing just to blend. Using a spatula, fold in chocolate.

3.     Spoon rounded tablespoonfuls of cookie dough onto 2 parchment paper-lined baking sheets, spacing 1-inch apart. Sprinkle cookies with sea salt.

4.     Bake cookies, rotating sheets halfway through, until just golden brown around the edges, 10-12 minutes (the cookies will firm up as they cool). Let cool slightly on baking sheets, then transfer to wire racks; let cool completely.

5.     Store airtight at room temperature or eat them all in one day so you don’t have to worry about it!

  


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What Does ALS Look Like

2/15/2013

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Ruben, one of the many people who obeyed that "nudge" and took time out of his day to stop by and make Akhil smile.
ALS starts out like a sly snake creeping through the body and subtly impacting different aspects of the victim’s physical being.  The speech may be affected by the occasional slurred speech.  A limb may be affected as evidenced in weakness.  Swallowing may be impaired so that the victim frequently chokes while eating or even swallowing his own saliva.

As ALS progresses, one would think it would be a huge, scary monster that is unbeatable.  It affects every aspect of the victim’s life.  The ALS patient is unable to be independent; to the contrary, he depends on others for every aspect of his care.  It would certainly be understandable if the victim became bitter and angry throughout this process but that is not my experience with ALS.  I have found that over time, ALS settles in to its true identity – A Love Story.  How is this terrible disease a love story you ask? 

We live in a country that values independence and self-sufficiency.  ALS quickly strips its victims of both of these fundamental needs.  As dependence on others becomes unavoidable, the love story begins to unfold.

Akhil was a pretty independent guy before ALS began to affect him.  As the disease began to impair his physical abilities, he had to rely on me to assist him with most routine tasks:  dressing, showering, shaving, flossing his teeth…  This enabled me to express a love for my husband that I never had a need to express before ALS.  As Akhil was cared for, he knew I loved him in a deeper way than he ever imagined.

The love story expands as God reaches out to families dealing with ALS through His people.  God nudges the hearts of his people to take action of some sort such as to make a phone call, send a note, take over dinner or help with a home maintenance project.  When His people act on those nudges, God’s love overflows to the family suffering.  As others serve us, we feel ensconced in love.  We feel comforted and loved as we are cared for in a way that would never have occurred were it not for this illness. 

We are part of A Love Story that is bigger than any of us.  The love story goes beyond our story and into God’s story as He loves us through this difficult time.  What is your role in His story?



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Living in Exile

2/8/2013

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Nov 2012 - A family photo shot by Carolyn Smith (Carolynsmithphotography.com)
Have you ever been in exile?  I don’t literally mean banished from your country but rather a forced removal from a place of comfort.  My family is in exile - the normalcy of family life has been stripped away from us as we struggle daily to deal with whatever new challenges Akhil’s ALS presents to us.  We can no longer take a family vacation; even getting Akhil in and out of the car is difficult so family outings are few and far between.  Life as we knew it is gone and we have been banished to a place filled with challenges.  It is not all bad though…

My pastor, Don Doe, preached a wonderfully relevant message last Sunday about the Israelites' time in exile.  God allowed his people to be taken into exile in Babylon so that they could experience some course correction.  God’s people needed to learn certain lessons that just weren’t going to get through in the comfort of where they were.

There are four lessons my pastor focused on that we can learn in exile that are tough to learn in carefree times.  We are in the process of learning all these lessons:

■  Learn to let go.  We cling so tightly to things, don’t we?  Whether it is a prized possession or a dream, we have a hard time letting go.  Sometimes we become so attached to our desires that we forget about seeking God’s desires for us.  When we are in exile, we let our dreams go but God’s dreams for us continue.  Sometimes we must go through a period of exile so God can redirect us from our desires for ourselves to His desires for us.

This is definitely not the life I dreamt about having.  At this point in my life, I thought I would be financially secure and able to travel the world as I prepared to be an empty-nester.  As it turns out, God’s plans for me are vastly different.  Instead, I am reliant on God for my security and my travels are limited to the confines of my mind.  As I let go of my dreams, I made room for God’s.  I am able to focus on what God is trying to teach me and how I need to grow.  Our purpose on earth is to be examples of Christ to the world.  While no one human can personify Christ, each of us can display certain of his attributes.  I look at this time as one of God developing in me traits of Christ for the world to see.  When this period of exile is over, whether it ends or my life ends, I will be a better person because of the journey I have taken and hopefully have given the world a glimpse of the God I know.

■ Find God in new ways.  Psalm 137:4 says, “How can we sing the songs of the Lord while in a foreign land?”    In other words, how can I praise God when my husband has a terminal disease?  When we are plucked out of the comforts we have known, it can be challenging to praise God.   God has shown me sides of himself that I would not have known were it not for this struggle.  For example, I am able to feel loved by God through the outpouring of kindness of His people and I can praise God for that comfort.

■  Love in exile.  Jeremiah 29:7 “Seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile.  Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.”  This says to me “Seek the peace and prosperity that you can only know because you are living with ALS.”  Some things we can only learn while in exile.  Lessons are not easily learned in times of freedom but only in times of struggling and suffering are we truly teachable.

■  What looks like the end to us is never the end to God.  “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:10  God’s plans for us never change even as our circumstances change.  God has a reason for each of us to be here and that reason does not change.  What looks like the end of my dreams is simply the beginning of God’s.

If you find yourself in a place of exile, I hope you will acknowledge that God’s plan for you is amazing even though it may not be in alignment with your plan for you!  I am convinced that our family will do more for God’s kingdom through our journey with this disease than we could ever have hoped to achieve without it.


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    Laura Jhaveri

    Wife and mother coping with the daily struggles caring for a family with a serious affliction.

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