I am writing about it because when I went through it I felt embarrassed and alone. I realized perhaps I could make a difference for other people who may experience similar awkward situations.
I expected that; however, I didn’t expect it would affect the muscles below my waist which leads me to my story. It was Saturday morning so Laura was taking care of me. I was in bed when I felt an urge to go to the bathroom. I told Laura that she had plenty of time to get me to the bathroom. I was wrong! Terribly wrong! My body betrayed me and I went to the bathroom in my bed. I was mortified!
Laura had to clean me up. All the while I was feeling so humiliated; I could not stop crying. I was watching Laura calmly clean up the mess that I made and thinking this is not how things are supposed to be. I thought that later in life, I would be taking care of her! I felt all alone. I felt helpless. I felt defeated.
Let me tell you what went through my mind. Thoughts of control and power went through my mind. I have been a manager of other people. I helped many people and they depended on me. I have reached a point where I have lost all control and all power.
Right now, I was not anything to anyone. I have had enough humbling!
I laughed. Laughing softened the moment, and the more I thought about it, I realized I had not done anything to be embarrassed about. Embarrassment should be reserved for those moments of bad judgment when you could control what you did or said but there is no cause for embarrassment when something is out of your control. I am doing the best I can. All of us are doing the best we can.
The Enemy always wants to isolate us so we feel alone. It is important that we share our experiences to let others know that we are not alone.