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The End by Laura

9/17/2018

9 Comments

 
A glimpse at the  end of Akhil’s life…

August 31 (continued…)

As Akhil’s body shut down, our oldest daughter, Ashley, left work and went to Portland to pick up our youngest daughter, Jordan, so they could come home to say “good-bye”.  Akhil seemed to be in such a precarious state that I wondered if they would make it home in time.  I called Corinne to let her know what was going on.  We agreed that we would video call when her sisters arrived.  In the meantime, I sat alone in silence beside Akhil.  How I wish he could talk.  I would have loved to have known what he was thinking.  Years ago, when he could talk, we would frequently ask each other, “What are you thinking?” Many times the answer would be a deep, intellectual one like, “I am wondering if each neighborhood would adopt a homeless family, would that end homelessness?” and other times something totally silly like, “I was thinking about a Ted Drewes' chocolate Snicker bar concrete with hot fudge on top and wishing I had one right now.”  At this point, I feel like if Akhil could respond, he could go either way – contemplative or ridiculous.  If you know him and his sense of humor, I am sure you understand.  If I were him, I think I would be making a list in my mind of everything I would want to ask God. 

My thoughts are interrupted when Ashley and Jordan arrived. They let their dad know they were here.  His eyes remained slits, neither opening nor closing.  Ashley grabbed her guitar so we could sing some of Akhil’s favorite worship songs.  Jordan video-called Corinne and put the phone where Akhil could see Corinne.  His eyes opened wide letting us know that he was aware that his girls were all present.  They shared the wonderful memories they would always have of him and each said, good-bye”.  Ashley led us in a few songs.  We got off the phone with Corinne and Jordan asked, “Now what?”.  I told her, “We wait.  But you don’t have to.”  Jordan seemed relieved that she didn’t have to stay to witness her dad’s last breath so she chose to go back to school.    

​Ashley and I watched the movie, “PS I Love You”.  In case you don’t know the story, a man dies of cancer but had the foresight to leave a year’s worth of notes and surprises for his wife to help ease her in to the time of living without him.  It made me think of Akhil just because he was romantic like that.  I hope he heard the movie.  I told him it made me think of him and how romantic he always was which I am sure made him smile inside.  After the movie, I got up to turn Akhil and get him comfortable.  Ashley picked up her guitar and the two of us sang “How He Loves”.  It was the same song we sang right after Akhil shared the news of his ALS diagnosis.  It was only fitting that the first song we sang when ALS entered our lives was also the last one Akhil would hear as the journey ended. 
                                “He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
                                  Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
                                  When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
                                  And I realize just how beautiful You are,
                                  And how great Your affections are for me.
                                 And oh, how He loves us oh
                                 Oh how He loves us,
                                How He loves us all…”

Ashley and I retired to our beds early, emotionally exhausted.  I got up at five to check on Akhil and was surprised to find him still breathing.  I tried to go back to sleep but couldn’t so I got up at six and gently turned him to his other side and kissed him on the cheek, a tear in my eye.  I threw in a load of laundry.  While I was getting the laundry started, I felt as if Akhil said “good-bye”.  Unfortunately, I didn’t think anything of it at the time. I went for a run to de-stress.  When I got back around 8, I checked on Akhil and found that he was not breathing.  I called hospice to let them know that he had passed away.  I don’t doubt that at that moment, when I felt him say “good-bye”, his soul left this earth. We were that connected.

I gazed out my bedroom window at the street below where a woman was walking.  My eyes filled with tears as I recalled countless Saturdays I spent wistfully looking out that window longing to be outside instead of trapped in my bedroom taking care of Akhil.  Sadly, I would have that freedom today.

9 Comments
Bill Caudill
9/18/2018 10:00:54 am

So bitter sweet! My tears and joy are mixed with yours.

Reply
Melanie Bailey
9/18/2018 10:21:38 am

Loss is sad; yet also, a relief. The grief will continue and deminish with time still being present. Thanks for sharing this portion of your life with so many. God will use this to His glory as only He knows how. Peace will continue to be my prayer for each one of you as you continue to live out Eph. 4:32-5:1. God bless you and yours! Melanie

Reply
Tom Storbakken
9/18/2018 03:12:06 pm

I will always remember Ahkil every time I go to Costco because he would put his Costco card in the divider between the person ahead and his own items. I have done it ever since and it always reminds me of him and the fun we had the times he would stay with us. Love you all and I know one day we will laugh together, again

Reply
Sue Simons
9/18/2018 03:58:58 pm

I had worried about how you'd do (as well as the girls) when he was called home. When Tom's dad died, hismom had been in another room. She told me at the funeral home about it and was upset that she wasn't with him when he died. I told her, I was sure he was just saying goodbye. Similar to you, she had cared for him for years; he had Polystic Kidney disease. It's rare to have the relationship that you and Akhil had! I pray that in time, you'll find another Christian man who cares for you and the girls as deeply as Akhil did!

Reply
Fuzzy link
9/19/2018 04:23:48 pm

Love, Hugs, Blessings.
💝🙏💝

Reply
Susan
9/20/2018 12:10:01 pm

God bless all of you Laura. Thank you for sharing the journey with those of us who wanted to be there for you and Akhil, but we're too far away. 💜🙏😘

Reply
Newman
9/23/2018 04:43:18 pm

ALS (LOU GEHRIGS DISEASE)
I am Newman, I was diagnosed of ALS (Lou Gherigs Disease) in 2013, the doctor told me there is no permanent cure for the disease, i was given medication to slow down the progress of the disease, at the initial stage it was not so bad till it progressed to the end middle stage were i had difficulties going about my daily functions as i constantly felt weakness in my legs, ankles and feet, i was totally devastated till my husband's co-worker Mr Kenneth told us about a herbal doctor from west Africa who have herbal medicines for all kind of diseases including ALS, when i contact this herbal doctor via his website, he sent me two bottles of ALS herbal medicine through courier service, when i received this herbal medicine, he gave me step by instructions on how to apply it, when i applied it as instructed, i was cured of the disease within 22-24 days of usage. Contact this great herbal doctor via his email
Drhadiherbalcentre@gmail.com
Or visit his Facebook page on
Http://m.Facebook.com/drhadiherbalcentre
Call or WhatsApp him on +2348116246228

Reply
Fuzzy link
9/23/2018 08:42:59 pm

For Chronic ailments as such and the Big C, MS, etc.. I know people who have got help (cures being one of them, and living with it...).
My son 20 has visited, my buddies with ailments of the Digestive have also benefited.

The website https://sites.google.com/site/drrajusinstituteofayurveda/

Reply
AJ
9/30/2018 10:55:15 am

I had the pleasure of meeting/learning about Akhil through a writing course he took at the Multnomah Arts Center about 4 years ago. I've been following your story ever since. I am so sorry for your loss....My wish for you and your family is finding peace and comfort during these difficult days. With his quiet and gentle passing at the home he loved, he is finally at peace. Both of you are truly brave spirits....

Reply



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    The video is Akhil's journey with ALS.  Painful to see but the faith his family shows is uplifting.
    ​
    God continues to show his love for us through his people.  Thank you to everyone who has reached out to us, prayed for us, visited Akhil, brought us a meal and served us however God led you to serve.  Continue to follow those urgings from God in serving those who are struggling.

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    Akhil and Laura Jhaveri

    Applying the skills they've learned in over 20 years of marriage, this couple faces the challenges of ALS together. MND or motor neuron disease is deadly with no known cure.  The Jhaveri family has to endure this battle and show the world God's love!

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