Ever notice how some people are very easily offended? It doesn't take much to set these people off. Tiring!
Oops, am I talking about you?
I don't mean to step on toes. I am sure that if it is not you, you know someone that fits the description. I know that you are thinking about them right now. What a special thing! ;-)
The real question is, how do you stop from having this kind-of attitude? Don't get me wrong, everyone has this feeling every once in a while. The key is not to be characterized as a person with a sour attitude, like the person you were thinking about.
The only way to prevent this attitude is to put up walls. Stick 'em up! Let me explain. . .
Oops, am I talking about you?
I don't mean to step on toes. I am sure that if it is not you, you know someone that fits the description. I know that you are thinking about them right now. What a special thing! ;-)
The real question is, how do you stop from having this kind-of attitude? Don't get me wrong, everyone has this feeling every once in a while. The key is not to be characterized as a person with a sour attitude, like the person you were thinking about.
The only way to prevent this attitude is to put up walls. Stick 'em up! Let me explain. . .
You have to ask yourself why you get upset. Usually it is something that you were not expecting. If you were expecting it, you would not have been upset by it. It might cause you some momentary anguish, but you move on. Why? Because you anticipated it.
So let me forewarn you about four different types of people that are in your life. Knowing the right categories to put these people in will help you anticipate what they will do. Like I just said, anticipation is the key from being offended.
Category 1: People who will never like you. Try as you may, they will never come around. By the way, I have spent many, many hours trying to get some people to like me by doing all sorts of things for them. In the end, it was all wasted effort.
Category 2: People who don't like you but can be persuaded to like you.
Category 3: People who like you but can be persuaded not to like you.
Category 4: People who will always like you no matter what. Anyone come to mind?
So let me forewarn you about four different types of people that are in your life. Knowing the right categories to put these people in will help you anticipate what they will do. Like I just said, anticipation is the key from being offended.
Category 1: People who will never like you. Try as you may, they will never come around. By the way, I have spent many, many hours trying to get some people to like me by doing all sorts of things for them. In the end, it was all wasted effort.
Category 2: People who don't like you but can be persuaded to like you.
Category 3: People who like you but can be persuaded not to like you.
Category 4: People who will always like you no matter what. Anyone come to mind?
It is very important to develop relationships with all your Category 4 people. At the same time don't wast your energy on your Category 1 goats, I mean gifts. They are gifts because they help you focus your energy elsewhere.
You only have so much emotional energy. Spend it like you spend your money, wisely.
One of the things that I was guilty of was listening to gossip. My assistant would come to me in the morning and share all the gossip about me. She would tell me all the details of why some one didn't like me. Foolishly, I would listen and try to fix the situation.
Two errors: I was dealing with a Category 1 person (they will never like me) and I listened to all the details. Worse, I let the gossip enter my spirit and owned it. This is a perfect formula to not only get offended but to stay that way.
You only have so much emotional energy. Spend it like you spend your money, wisely.
One of the things that I was guilty of was listening to gossip. My assistant would come to me in the morning and share all the gossip about me. She would tell me all the details of why some one didn't like me. Foolishly, I would listen and try to fix the situation.
Two errors: I was dealing with a Category 1 person (they will never like me) and I listened to all the details. Worse, I let the gossip enter my spirit and owned it. This is a perfect formula to not only get offended but to stay that way.
Once I realized my mistakes, I stopped. First of all, I realized that this "gift" allowed me to not worry about the situation. Second, I stopped listening to the details. I told my assistant to give me the Cliff Note version. In other words, I didn't need to hear all of that and more importantly, I didn't need to own it.
I know it might sound like a very small thing, however, this small change really helped me. I put walls up to protect my spirit.
I know it might sound like a very small thing, however, this small change really helped me. I put walls up to protect my spirit.
Another thing I realized was that I was giving power to people who would never like me. Power that was draining my emotional energy. Instead of coming home ready to put my energy into my family, I would come home drained and hide in my cave. Pathetic!
No more, now I spend my energy wisely, just in time. Having ALS is helping me focus how I spend my limited energy. Should I spend it on activities that help no one or should I spend it helping?
So here is what I am doing. I surround myself with Category 4 people and see how I can build the relationship. Gone are the days when I spent time worrying about gossip .I think about all of the days that I wasted my emotional energy when I could have been helping others. Whenever you meet me now, you will see a smile on my face and it surprises many people.
Well now you know my secret. I don't give my power away to anyone. I hope that you don't either!
No more, now I spend my energy wisely, just in time. Having ALS is helping me focus how I spend my limited energy. Should I spend it on activities that help no one or should I spend it helping?
So here is what I am doing. I surround myself with Category 4 people and see how I can build the relationship. Gone are the days when I spent time worrying about gossip .I think about all of the days that I wasted my emotional energy when I could have been helping others. Whenever you meet me now, you will see a smile on my face and it surprises many people.
Well now you know my secret. I don't give my power away to anyone. I hope that you don't either!
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