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Left Behind by Laura

4/9/2018

27 Comments

 
PictureAkhil Sleeping Peacefully April 9, 2018
​We have been living with ALS since July 2011.  Since then, we have been dying with it slowly but most notably feeling closer to death than life over the last 3 ½ years.  My husband, Akhil has been on hospice since December 2014 and the doctors and nurses that care for him can’t believe he is still with us.  They have asked me if I think he is hanging on for some reason.  “Yes”, I think to myself, “FOMO”.
​
Akhil asked me to write a blog for him this week.  When I asked him if he had a topic in mind, he fervently gestured “yes” by raising his eyebrows and opening his eyes wide.  We went through the tedious process of me trying to elicit a response as I said a series of numbers and letters that allowed him to spell words.  Akhil spelled out “Left Behind”.  Knowing that he was a fan of that series of books by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins, I asked him if he meant a blog about being left behind from a spiritual perspective.  He responded, “No” by closing his eyes.  I asked if he meant left behind from a physical perspective to which he responded “Yes” by raising his eyebrows and opening his eyes wide.
Hmm…  Interesting idea.  Akhil has suffered from FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) from as long as I have known him.  He would always want to be the first to arrive at a party and the last to leave; better yet, he wanted to be the host of the party.  As I watch Akhil labor for each breath, I am convinced that he is clinging to life because of FOMO.  Perhaps he wants me to write about what life will be like for those of us left behind after he is gone so he can “experience” it and feel as if he is not missing out.
Akhil, life will continue here on earth after you are gone.  Most people will live their lives oblivious to the struggles you have dealt with and not noticing that you are gone.  There will be a close circle of people who have walked with you through this entire journey who will mourn a life lost too soon and yet, a part of them will rejoice that your suffering is over.  Those of us left behind will continue to deal with life’s hardships, handling daily sorrows and joys without being able to share them with you.  We will be sad that you are not with us but as the planet still rotates, our lives move onward as we journey toward fulfilling our own destinies.

While probably not your intention, I think the real purpose in writing this blog is not to focus on those of us being left behind, but rather on all that you will be leaving behind.  Akhil, I assure you that compared to where you are going, you will not be missing out on a thing.  You will probably wonder why you didn’t surrender to this disease sooner so you could leave the worries and pain of this world behind and enter the paradise of total healing.  Yes, you will leave your family and friends behind to finish out the plans for their lives but you will also be leaving behind   
  • a body that refuses to cooperate with you,
  • fear of not being able to take your next breath,
  • being dependent on others to bathe, dress, feed, scratch, shave, and care for your every need,
  • the isolation of spending day after day watching television passing time because everyone around you is too busy to simply sit down with you,
  • loneliness,
  • sorrow about thoughts of what your life would have been,
  • sickness,
  • pain.
You will be entering a place of
                Perfection,
                Peace,
                Populated with loved ones,
                Joy,
                Total Healing,
                Contentment.
 
There will come a day when you can rest in this vision of the place you are going, when it will be more appealing than what you are leaving behind.  On that day, I have a mental picture of you standing crossing your arms across your chest, looking up to the heavens and just letting go, falling backwards into the waiting arms of Jesus where there will be no more FOMO.


27 Comments
Jay Lavrinc
4/9/2018 10:45:20 am

Laura you nailed Akhil very succinctly. When we worked together my motto was always be at a meeting 15 minutes early. I would arrive for a meeting and Akhil would be sitting there ready to go while we waited for everyone else to show up. This lead to some very interesting and in-depth discussions. Mainly about family, not business. It is very sad for me to see Akhil as he struggles with this horrible disease. I will forever remember his great smile and the way he kind of giggled when he laughed. Tell him I said the wetting is over. It is time to go home!

Reply
Jay
4/9/2018 10:51:02 am

Meeting is over

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Laura
4/13/2018 08:27:10 pm

Jay, I can only imagine what you and Akhil might have discussed as you waited for those meetings to start! Whatever it was, I am sure there was some laughter involved because that is just how Akhil was (and still is). I think his sense of humor has played a large part in helping us hold things together as we walk this path. Thanks for staying in touch!

Don Foster
4/9/2018 10:53:46 am

Laura,

I remember so well the Sunday in 2011 when I noticed something different in Akhil’s walk when he was getting off the stage at Vancouver Church if Christ. I asked him if he was having any problems and he said no, not that he was aware of. Shortly after that incident I believe is when he was tested and diagnosed with ALS. I’m so sorry for all these years that your family has had to struggle with this nasty thing. I think if his spirit and drive often and trust that when my time comes I can be as strong as he.

I love your family.

Reply
Laura
4/13/2018 08:29:43 pm

Thank you, Don. I appreciate your kind words and shared them with Akhil.

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Teresa Alexander
4/9/2018 12:13:06 pm

Thank you for your updates. Still praying for all of you. I sure love you all. Big hugs!

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Laura
4/13/2018 08:36:27 pm

Thank you, Teresa! We appreciate your prayers and you staying in touch.

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Pam Hough
4/9/2018 12:38:13 pm

I have never known a family so faithful and committed as they have faced such a devastating illness and outcome. Laura you and Akhil are such an example of Faith and determination. I know it has not been easy. In fact I’m sure there are days that you guys thought you just weren’t going to make it through. Somehow, God is showing all of us How he cares for us and sustains us through our difficulties because you have been so open with yours. Thank you both for your openness and sharing the vulnerable moments that help us to see how clinging to life and it’s sufferings, can be done as a family with strength love and compassion. I think maybe Akhil knows that he will be in such a better place, that it makes it almost impossible for him to leave you and the girls behind, Facing this life and its challenges. He has always been your greatest cheerleader.
It was wonderful to see you at Christmas. Tell Akhil that someday, we will all with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ celebrating the forever life. We are praying for y’all and you know I’m only a phone call away. Thank you for sharing the journey. Love you guys! Hugs to you all!🙏💕

Reply
Laura
4/13/2018 08:38:13 pm

Sweet Pam, thank you for being there for me. I know I can always count on you for prayers and support. Love you, Friend!

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JoAnn Hummel
4/9/2018 12:51:43 pm

Laura,

Thank you for writing this! So touching, honest and hopeful.

Praying for Akhil, you and your girls.

❤️ joAnn

Reply
Laura
4/13/2018 08:40:25 pm

JoAnn, I remember so fondly our time in Dallas where I was blessed to be able to learn from you. Thank you for your prayers.

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Patty Watkinson
4/9/2018 09:38:48 pm

I love this Laura ... Your lives have touched so many. Akhil can be assured he is loved and has been a cherished friend, loving husband and amazing father in his lifetime. Your journey has been a difficult one these past few years but y’all are running the race well. Much Love to you, my friends. I pray for peace and rest and joy for each of you.

Reply
Laura
4/13/2018 08:43:05 pm

Thank you, Patty. Who knew the sale of a house in Plano, Texas on Gurney Drive would lead to such a long, great friendship? We so appreciate you and Gary and your continued prayers.

Reply
Sally Seng
4/10/2018 10:48:41 am

Would Akhil like for Richard and I to visit with him? I still pray very often for his healing. I love his strength and advneturous and kind spirit he has had no matter what ALS has done to his body. I only hope that I could be so strong. He is blessed to have such a loving family that supports him so deeply. Sally and Richard Seng

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Laura
4/13/2018 08:45:23 pm

Thank you, Sally, for your prayers.

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Debbie Olson
4/10/2018 01:18:10 pm

Your thoughts are so touching, so beautiful, and share the raw emotion of what’s going on right now as your wonderful Akhil slips ever closer to the arms of Jesus. Thank you for writing this. I pray for Akhil, and for you and your beautiful girls.

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Laura
4/13/2018 08:46:13 pm

Thank you, Debbie. We appreciate your prayers.

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Herb Crown
4/10/2018 03:47:59 pm

As I sit here reading this, I am filled with memories and am incredibly humbled to walk in the presence of such a great man.

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Laura
4/13/2018 08:48:24 pm

Herb, I know Akhil loved that time in St. Louis working with you on ways to take things to the "next level" at KidsFest. Those were fun times for our whole family that we will remember always.

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Fuzzy link
4/11/2018 03:25:41 am

What an inspirational family. Love and Blessings. 🤗😍

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Laura
4/13/2018 08:52:00 pm

<3

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Phil Camden link
4/11/2018 04:56:07 pm

Dear Laura and Akhil. So courageous. You are an inspiration and source of strength to me as I walk my journey with ALS. As I see Akhil's footprints before me I know I too can face my own FOMO. Thank you Akhil and Laura. I write this through tears as I so cherish my visit with you both. Love to you both.

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Laura
4/13/2018 08:57:58 pm

Phil, It was such a great honor that you visited us. I am continually inspired by your zest for life. You are touching so many as you continue living each day fully in spite of ALS. We are blessed to know you and look forward to the day when our paths cross again.

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Valerie Lavely
4/12/2018 12:49:55 pm

Akhil, Picture a fountain splashing in the Texas Sun. Spilling over flat stones, dripping into a blue pool, palm trees and crepe myrtle fighting, determined, against the wind. What you are missing out on is the sound of water and wind. The white blooms on a bush I haven't known and the view from my sunroom. The prick of my cat's claws as she comforts herself at my expense. God moved us from the view we had in the PNW back here, again. At Easter. Moving . . . from one place to another is an interesting thing to ponder - especially at Easter when Jesus moved from life to death to life . . and then moved on back home. None of us know His timing . . . but when it's time to move, He has a way of putting things in motion. To be buffeted by the wind or swept along . . . that is ever the question. We can't know which side of Left Behind you wanted to explore . . . but you've always had an interesting way of getting the conversation started. Seems to be there are always good and bad things we leave behind, that we trust His promise to complete what He started. XO

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Laura
4/13/2018 09:03:28 pm

Val, When I started reading your comment, I thought you were creating one of those word pictures we made around the kitchen table with Akhil to help us remember scripture! Remember all the laughs we had?

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R Miller link
8/1/2018 09:45:53 am

This is exactly what it will be like. I'm in tears reading about your journey, and I just prayed to Jesus that he would send you peace and love like you've never known. Being a caregiver can be extremely emotionally draining. I've seen it in my own family. I just want to encourage you as a fellow believer. This is not the end. Akhil may have FOMO on Earth, but when he receives his eternal body in heaven, he will surely laugh because of what he was truly missing out on. Peace and blessings to you and your family.

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Jewlz
8/2/2018 10:10:47 am

Let go and Let GOD! Praying for peace and healing light for the whole family.

Reply



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    The video is Akhil's journey with ALS.  Painful to see but the faith his family shows is uplifting.
    ​
    God continues to show his love for us through his people.  Thank you to everyone who has reached out to us, prayed for us, visited Akhil, brought us a meal and served us however God led you to serve.  Continue to follow those urgings from God in serving those who are struggling.

    Picture

    Akhil and Laura Jhaveri

    Applying the skills they've learned in over 20 years of marriage, this couple faces the challenges of ALS together. MND or motor neuron disease is deadly with no known cure.  The Jhaveri family has to endure this battle and show the world God's love!

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