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I have an answer.

10/6/2014

11 Comments

 
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Suicide, according to Webster’s: “ to take ones own life”.

Suicide, according to Akhil: “to end a long ordeal”.

I asked those questions last week on my blog because I was contemplating how to end my long ordeal. Of course I’m talking about ALS.

Because of my thoughts, I wanted to hear answers to three important questions:

1.     Is there a God?
2.      Is Jesus my Lord and Savior? (Does he really love me?)
3.      Is there any reason to stay here? (Can I check out early?)

I got some interesting answers from lots of people. I was actually amazed how many people responded. I was most amazed by God’s response!

Yes, God responded to my questions.

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Here’s what happened. My big question really was, “Does God really care about me?  Does he know I am struggling? Is he asleep at the switch?”

He knew I needed encouragement. It came in the form of two people: Tim and Phil.

I have known Tim since I was sixteen. We used to play Dungeons and Dragons together. (Don’t judge me!) We also had the most insane friends and we did all sorts of things that would be considered priceless by the producers of "Jackass"! Nonetheless, we survived and are friends today.

Tim lives in California, near LA, and does graphic design.

He came to visit me on Tuesday of last week. We reminisced over old times and laughed a lot. That was encouraging, but that was not the answer from God.

The answer from God came as Tim was leaving. I was in the middle of being fed through my tube and I looked over at Tim and said, “I am sorry you have to see me this way.” Tim responded: “I don’t see anything. All I see is my friend, someone with whom I have a long history!”

I was imagining how people saw me: sick, helpless, useless.

Through Tim I saw how God saw me: Akhil.

Chalk one up for God!

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What about the other question: Is there any reason to stay here? (Can I check out early?)

Phil Camden is someone I don’t know. He’s from Australia right outside of Sydney and was the senior pastor of Hillsong Church.

If you know the music of Hillsong, you know it is very impactful. Last year two things happened to Phil.  First, he was diagnosed with ALS and second, he found my blog.

He commented on my blog and we stayed in touch over the internet. Last week, he had an occasion to meet with a relative in Portland! He contacted us and asked to come visit. On Saturday he came over to my house. We talked and I asked him if he ever thought about an early checkout.

The answer from God came through Phil who said, “I want to keep ministering to the people as long as I have breath. Although I have stepped down as senior pastor and I have retired, I still have opportunities to help other people find their way.”

He continued, “You also have an opportunity to help others.”  I was surprised and asked him what he was talking about. I told him I can’t move and I can barely talk.

He told me that my blog was the vehicle. He said that although people don’t always comment, I am changing hearts all over the world. He finished by saying, “Even if no one else reads it, I do!  Keep writing for me.”

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You can see God's timing. When I needed an answer, God showed up!

In summary: I still have purpose, as long as God has me here, I still can contribute.

So there you have it. God does exist, he sent his son for me (and you), and I need to stick around to see how this movie ends.

TO BE CONTINUED…


Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. 
Matthew 7:7-8

11 Comments
Grace Tamayo
10/6/2014 11:09:12 am

I'm still here, reading your blog. YOU inspire me. YOU encourage me. You are very special and you are part of my testimony. I will never forget when I was diagnosed with MS and I was in my pity party. I was on YouTube finding whatever I could about people with MS and I found your videos. Your phone number was on there and I called you. You answered and spoke to me. You encouraged me and made me feel like it was going to be alright. YOU are a Blessing. YOU my friend, still have so much to do. Your blog is your vehicle. Keep writing. Keep shining for Jesus. HE LOVES YOU!

Reply
Akhil
10/14/2014 09:59:20 am

How are you doing? As you can tell by my video, I am facing a more difficult challenge. I suppose I had MS under control, new challenge: ALS. Let's see what this chapter is like. All my best, Akhil

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Cecelia Henderson
10/6/2014 11:22:59 am

Akhil, I read your blog and forgot to respond. I am sorry. You bring so much joy to me and to everyone who is blessed to spend time with you. God does care. He IS working through you. He HATES your suffering. His plan is at work through you. Healing is in store for you. He will let you know HIS time to join Him in heaven. Not now my friend. I definitely will see you Friday. Sooner if possible! Forever and always you have my love and friendship!

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Chadd
10/6/2014 11:51:56 am

You encourage more than you know. God knows you are strong enough.

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Kent
10/6/2014 11:53:38 am

Thanks Akhil for sharing this. I don't often post on your blog but I read it and am always lifted up by doing so.
I love the way God shows up with answers in the form of ordinary, flawed people. It gives us hope that yes He can use us to bless others, even when we don't feel worthy.
Thanks for not checking out!
Kent

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Lisa Best
10/6/2014 10:36:21 pm

Akhil, I am thanking God for sending you encouragement through these two men; thank you for a powerful reminder that God continues to use us to bring about His kingdom no matter our stage of life!!

Reply
paula
10/7/2014 11:54:43 am

I discovered several years ago by asking God, I do receive what I need. I had to ask my "Angels" to slow the response down because I felt on overload!
I know you are suffering and what you are enduring is difficult. I will pray for help to come your way.
I know you are touching more people than you realize. (I am one) Probably more now than you did when you were 'healthier'.
I read a book years ago titled "The Biology of Belief" by Bruce Lipton. An interesting read. I had seen prayer work so many times but didn't really understand much about it. Bruce talks about how it works. Also, the most powerful phrase he wrote….Everything we do, say and think affects everyone forever. After I read the book, I understood how. So, think well, believe in your journey and may you receive all the blessings you need along your way.

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Melissa Kolb
10/7/2014 02:30:23 pm

You are "running the play"...living life to it's bitter end, fighting from the trenches while sometimes, so many of us are sitting on the bench! You are fighting the good fight...your encouragement and spurring us on to good works REALLY MEANS SOMETHING TO ME! The average preacher with the "blessed" life will never reach out to some of us like you have...thank you, bless you and we love you!!

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Aaron Jones
10/13/2014 12:34:33 am

Darnit Akhil! Just when I think I've a lock on this thing, where I've been and where I am going... you floor me! Who would have thought this little guy I've known since 7th grade would grow up into such a stronger man than I will ever be. Jimmy V said it and you live. Miiss you man. Keep writing and I'll keep reading.

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Akhil
10/14/2014 10:05:15 am

I miss you too! You know where I live. You have an open invitation to come visit me. Maybe you and Michelle can come out here soon. Your junior high school friend, Akhil

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Tim Mancinas
10/21/2014 02:07:28 pm

THIS has to be my favorite post! And not because I was featured… Well, maybe I'm a little partial because of that. HA! So good to see you and hang out! It really is true, nothing will change the dynamic of our ability to laugh together and no condition or ailment will alter our level of connection and friendship! PS-Don't forget to read that Log Book I left for you… Love ya, brutha!!!

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    The video is Akhil's journey with ALS.  Painful to see but the faith his family shows is uplifting.
    ​
    God continues to show his love for us through his people.  Thank you to everyone who has reached out to us, prayed for us, visited Akhil, brought us a meal and served us however God led you to serve.  Continue to follow those urgings from God in serving those who are struggling.

    Picture

    Akhil and Laura Jhaveri

    Applying the skills they've learned in over 20 years of marriage, this couple faces the challenges of ALS together. MND or motor neuron disease is deadly with no known cure.  The Jhaveri family has to endure this battle and show the world God's love!

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