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I choose . . .

11/4/2014

4 Comments

 
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Two  engineering students are walking in the quad. One of them has a new bicycle. The other one asks “Where did you get that bike?” The other one said, “It was the funniest thing. I was walking to class, minding my own business when a beautiful woman on a bike rides up to me, gets off her bike, takes off her clothes and says, ‘take what you want!’ so I took the bike.”

The other engineer said, “Good call, her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you!”

I think that you will find that I started this post with a joke. I have a method to my madness.  I want to talk about choices. Life and death choices. It is not funny, but at the same time we have to lighten up and not take everything so seriously!

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So let’s dive into it. You may have heard about Brittany Maynard.  If you have not, here is a brief summary. Brittany Maynard was diagnosed with Stage 4 terminal brain cancer and given 6 months to live. This 29 year old woman moved to Portland, OR, to take advantage of the Death with Dignity Act.

Long story short, she ended her own life on Saturday, November 1st. I don’t know what side of the argument you are on to be able to end your own life or not, but that it is not the point of this post.  The point of this post is to ask the question, “Why do you want to live?”

Now I know that may seem like a trite question, but it is not if you really think about it. Look at Brittany. I am sure she spent a long time thinking about that question all the way to the end.  Obviously her answer led to her actions.

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I have asked this question to many people, “Why do you want to live?” Here are some of the answers.

1.      I want to do what God wants me to do.
2.      Life has so much joy to offer, I don’t want to miss it.
3.      I am afraid of dying so I want to live.
4.      My favorite, I don’t know.

These are just some of the answers but they all follow the same theme,  faith based or pleasure based or fear based. That is not satisfactory.  It is important to have a strong reason to live. 

 Like Brittany, I am diagnosed with a terminal disease with a horrible end.  If you don’t know, in a short amount of time, my whole body will stop moving and I will become completely paralyzed. The last thing that will happen is my lungs will give out and I will suffocate to death. That is not the fairy tale ending that I wanted.  

But unlike Brittany, I have chosen to wait and see how the movie ends. I know what Doctors say but what if they are wrong? 

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More importantly, I have formed a mission for my life. It was something I settled on about 10 years ago. It has become my guiding principle. Here it is, “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier.” This is a quote from Mother Teresa and I use it to make my decisions on what direction I choose to go. Pretty simple statement.

You might be wondering how do I use this philosophy?  Let me give you a real example. As you know, I have ALS. When you visit me, you will not find me wallowing in self pity. Why? Because if I wallow in self pity, that would not encourage you. No, if you see me defeated, you will leave defeated.  That flies in the face of my mission. Instead, I want you to leave encouraged, therefore, I will discuss all the goodness in my life.  That is the opposite of a pity party.

You will see a smile on my face and ironically, you will smile too. That way we both will have a smile, mission accomplished. 

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Somewhere along the line, I realized this life is not all about me. It is all about how I make other people feel. The better they feel, the better they act. That is how you improve the world, one person at a time. Pretty simple when you think about it.

Winning, everyone wants to be a winner. That is why I don’t like when people say, he lost his fight with ALS. I am no doctor, but when I die, I am pretty sure the ALS will die too!  So at worst, it was a draw. However, I did not lose, I actually won. I keep going, but the ALS does not.

Since I know how the story ends, I can remain very positive and leave an example for my children.  They will face difficulties in their lives, I want them to draw from my example and get the most out of the experience and not give in to defeat.  That is my hope for you as well. You are going to be faced with difficult situations,  I hope you will realize that how you behave will have a ripple effect through your community.

Perhaps you don’t understand how important your actions are to your children. I know that I did not appreciate this fact as a young father, however, as an older father, I am watching my children and seeing how my behavior has molded their personalities.  Extrapolating, how I die will mold their philosophy and consequently their lives.

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How about, we wrap this up. The length of your life is not under your control; however, how you live your life is. More importantly, how you make other people feel while you are alive is the legacy that you leave behind.  By having your eye on the end will help you make adjustments right now.

I am reminded of a story. A philosopher, at the ripe old age of 86, found himself on his death bed. A horrible thought came to him. “What if my life was wrong?” Imagine you are about to die and you realize that you missed it.  What would you do? How would you feel?

Fortunately, you are not at death’s door. That means you have an opportunity to focus on how you will be remembered and start to take action.

How much better to get wisdom than gold,
    to get insight rather than silver!
 Proverbs 16:16

4 Comments
Linda McNeley
11/4/2014 09:46:18 am

Akhil, you are a hero in my life. You have made a difference in so many lives, and you will live on. I love you. You use God's special gifts just the way He wishes, you share them. Our whole family has been blessed since God introduced you to us thru our daughter. God Bless you my friend.

Reply
Lynn
11/5/2014 09:09:34 am

Because of my observation of ALS, sometimes I take the stairs, because I can. I sit on the edge of my bed in the morning and take a deep breath as a prayer of gratitude. I am profoundly grateful for the myriad of lessons in perspective that being a caregiver have afforded

Reply
Mark Mary
11/13/2014 10:58:18 am

Thanks for your encouraging words Akhil. Always a lift to my spirits!! Your family is blessed to have you!!!

Reply
Judith Pulman
11/29/2014 05:24:32 am

This was a moving post. Thank you for honoring us with your wisdom and humor.

Reply



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    The video is Akhil's journey with ALS.  Painful to see but the faith his family shows is uplifting.
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    God continues to show his love for us through his people.  Thank you to everyone who has reached out to us, prayed for us, visited Akhil, brought us a meal and served us however God led you to serve.  Continue to follow those urgings from God in serving those who are struggling.

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    Akhil and Laura Jhaveri

    Applying the skills they've learned in over 20 years of marriage, this couple faces the challenges of ALS together. MND or motor neuron disease is deadly with no known cure.  The Jhaveri family has to endure this battle and show the world God's love!

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