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Hanging On!

11/16/2015

9 Comments

 
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Akhil asked me, Laura, to write a blog post about why he should keep up the fight. 

I am guessing that he wanted me to write it not only for him but for any of you struggling in life so you would be encouraged to hang in there.

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First, there is the matter of faith.  I believe in a sovereign God who has a plan for each of our lives, should we choose to live those days out.  He knows precisely when His plan is completed and our lives are done. 

Akhil has grappled with the idea of assisted suicide because it is legal here in Washington.  I am sure if I were I in his shoes, I would have wrestled with the thought as well.  My beliefs make euthanasia a concept I would find difficult to embrace; however, I would not pass judgment on someone who made that choice. 

I find hope in knowing that God uses all things for redemption.  He desires that each of us will make the choice to follow Him. It is only by choosing Him that we can be redeemed and accept his offer of an eternal life in heaven.  Unfortunately, just as Christ had to die for all of us; sometimes one of us must suffer in order that someone or perhaps many may have their eyes opened to the grace and mercy offered by the cross. 

I encourage Akhil to live each day as God has ordained because we do not know who may be watching our journey and be impacted by it.  We don’t know how God orchestrates opportunities for salvation but there could be that one person, who on that last day of Akhil’s life, chooses to receive that gift because of something he saw demonstrated in Akhil’s journey.  God values each one of us so much that He will sacrifice one who is secure in his destiny to bring one more to Him.

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Second, I don’t believe in losing.  We have tried to instill in our daughters the belief that Jhaveris are winners.  Winners don’t quit. 

Winners may need to get creative and find a work-around at times or admit defeat with grace to a worthy opponent but they do not just give up. 

I would like to think that we are winners!

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Third, I want Akhil to hang in there for our children.  Life is hard; we all will face some extremely trying situation at some point that will test our character.  When my children face something difficult, like a loss of a job, bankruptcy or divorce, I do not want their first thought to be that checking out is an option. 

I want them to remember how we fought this battle up to the end with grace and dignity and that in itself is a victory!

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Finally, I want Akhil to hang in there for me.  Does this disease test my patience daily?  Yes!  I get frustrated when I cannot understand what Akhil is saying.  The words coming out of this man who was once a gifted public speaker are unintelligible and it is maddening. 

I get frazzled when I am trying to get something done and Akhil is making continual requests for movement, scratching and suctioning.

Is life hard living with someone with this disease?  Of course it is! I am dealing with the financial stresses imposed by ALS along with having two girls in college and a third headed there (hopefully).  I am working crazy hard to build a business that may or may not be a means to support myself someday. 

On the weekends, I am the sole caregiver for Akhil; there is no rest after my workweek.  On Monday, it all starts again.  Yes, life is hard and it is definitely not what I thought it would be but I am happy in spite of these circumstances.  I am happy because for me happiness has always been defined by my faith and my family. 

I have faith that God is allowing us to endure this struggle for a purpose greater than we can see right now. I have three wonderful daughters who are growing up to be strong, persevering and empathetic women thanks to this journey.  I have a husband who loves me.  The smiles from that man make each day of hardship worthwhile. 

Will I miss the difficult days caring for someone with this dreadful disease?  No.  But that does not mean that I won’t miss Akhil.  I hang on to each day with him because I know that these days are numbered.  There will come a day when I will long to hear him calling to me to move his arm or scratch his chin.  For now, I find happiness in knowing that we have one more day together. 

​ I am sure that whatever challenge you may be facing, you have someone out there who feels the same way about you; someone who would treasure just one more day with you so hang in there!

Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:16

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There is no doubt that this ALS journey is difficult on every member of the Jhaveri family. Each day is a test of perseverance and strength.

Would you keep fighting if you were in his shoes?  

​Akhil would like to hear from you why you think he should continue this fight with ALS. 

Sincerely, 

Lori Davis 

9 Comments
Tricia Reinhart
11/16/2015 06:21:57 pm

Dear Akhil and Lori,
This letter touched me deeply. God has given you and your family a strength and love beyond compare. Perhaps one that few will ever know. When you ask "would I fight", I would pray that like you, I would. But how can I really know as I've never been required to "fight a battle" the likes of this. When you ask why should Akhil keep on fighting this, I'd say....read this letter, and the reasons are here well stated. But on another note, another reason why is that I look for Akhil's postings often and share his story often with others. When I see he is still "keeping on" it brings me such joy to see that God still has work for him to do in whatever form God holds his body. Akhil is here for a reason. And knowing God has plans for him delight me as the Akhil I've always known is a man of joy, knowledge, peace, charm, and a deep love of his family and God. The world indeed IS a better place with him amongst us.

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kristi
11/16/2015 08:48:27 pm

This made me think of the phrase in the stated values of Vanchurch website: We will do anything short of sinning to see someone know the transforming power of Jesus. So glad you see the redemptive work of God in your circumstances.

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Phil Camden link
11/16/2015 09:11:30 pm

Hi my friends.
This is so beautiful Laura. I have found all that you mention in the writings of Akhil. Plus the knowledge through his example that when ALS takes me to the place that you have already been Akhil His grace is available to me as it is to you now. You are all examples of faith, hope and love for me and so many others.

On maybe a different note and as I have sat in your lounge room once I hope this comes across in always that places me once more beside you holding your hand Akhil. You are loved by God and His love continues to touch others through you. Here is where I have come to when it comes to "assisted suicide", I'm with Laura. However, I do believe that a day may come when we can refuse "assisted life support". Please this is my personal view for NOW. I felt your question was so bravery asked that it deserved a corresponding response. I will keep fighting because you Akhil and Laura inspire us all to do so. Love you guys, from an Aussie brother.

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Mark Mary
11/16/2015 09:14:24 pm

Akhil/Laura

You should continue this fight because it's about Christ and not us. Also, there are people watching, learning, and gaining encouragement from your faith and your fight. I happen to be one of those people and I know of more in my small group that are encouraged and strengthened by your fight. Love to all of you.

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Bo
11/16/2015 09:33:15 pm

I love you, Jhaveris!

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Melanie
11/16/2015 09:38:10 pm

Dennis, my precious husband, chose to end his life. He was a wonderful creation of God. I still believe in God's grace. Yet his decision was a great loss to our Lord and his people.Sad. Maybe even selfish.😞👀

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Shannon Hail
11/16/2015 11:59:03 pm

I don't know if it's right or wrong to ask somebody to keep fighting but this I do know.... you and your family are inspiring and have touched many people's lives and have made people think maybe before than complain about stupid inconsequential things and appreciate what they have been blessed with. I think our Heavenly Father will tell Akhil when his job here on earth is done. Blessings to your beautiful family!

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Patty Watkinson
11/17/2015 12:01:51 am

Because you are SO loved by Christ and your family, Akhil ... and for all the reasons Laura shared so openly with pure, raw emotion and honesty along with the Word to back it all up. No one can begin to imagine what it is to be in your shoes but you are loved by so many Akhil and God has a plan .... Praying for Jesus to bless you, comfort you, wrap His arms around you all, and for His peace to surround you !! Sending much Love to you ...

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Kathy
11/17/2015 08:21:26 am

Because LOVE!! Because the yes in your spirit is waaayyyy bigger than the tiny no!!! Love is patient and kind, Love pursues, does not seek its own, Always wins!! There is so much love in your heart Akhil and Laura, you blow me away by your love. Faith, Hope, and Love but the greatest of these is LOVE. I love you darling friends!!

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    The video is Akhil's journey with ALS.  Painful to see but the faith his family shows is uplifting.
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    God continues to show his love for us through his people.  Thank you to everyone who has reached out to us, prayed for us, visited Akhil, brought us a meal and served us however God led you to serve.  Continue to follow those urgings from God in serving those who are struggling.

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    Akhil and Laura Jhaveri

    Applying the skills they've learned in over 20 years of marriage, this couple faces the challenges of ALS together. MND or motor neuron disease is deadly with no known cure.  The Jhaveri family has to endure this battle and show the world God's love!

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