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Fear and Anxiety

2/26/2013

2 Comments

 
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Feeling isolated in misery is a technique used by the enemy to win.  Suffering in silence helps nobody. 

That said, I am exposing a personal weakness in the hopes others will realize they are not alone.  My silence ends today!

I confess that recently I categorized all Social Anxiety Disorders in one neat package.  All mental disorders should be solved by mind over matter.  I reasoned, “Just be rational and stop acting foolish!”

Enter a teacher that showed me I was way off base...

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With my ALS I have muscle spasms.  My legs get rigid and I can’t move.  This rigidity is accompanied with pain.  Not horrible, but it still hurts. 

I was taking Baclofen on a daily basis to combat this spasticity, but there was an irritating side effect:  Itching.  My back, neck, and head itched badly enough to keep me up at night. 

The solution:  Switch from Baclofen to Tizanidine (different spasticity medicine)


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I took it at night before bed and then the fun started!

At 5am I got up in a cold sweat!  I couldn’t breathe.  Being unable to move (I have minimal muscle control) I felt like I was in a coffin!  I was experiencing a full blown panic attack. 

My panic seems to start for no reason. I was soaked in sweat in seconds and my head spun. I felt my heart was going to burst out my chest. I shook from head to toe.  Fear ran through my body. This feeling scared the hell out of me.



Logically I knew there was nothing wrong.  My left brain tried to reason with me.  No way!  I was convinced of some extreme and terrible, yet, unstoppable event was about to occur.  Terror!!

I pride myself as an intelligent person, but my mind could not reason itself out of this condition.

7am – My mind reset, the threat reduced (not eliminated).  I was not shaking anymore.

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Next night, I was off all drugs but I could not lie down in bed.  I was panicked about having another attack.  I stayed up all night, sitting in my wheelchair.  I hoped God would call me home NOW!  I was afraid this fear would never leave me!  I was losing my mind.

Anyone else feel anything like this?      

Please comment and let your voice be heard!





My solution:

1.  Avoid drugs that have psychotropic effects. 
(Read the small print!)
2.  Drink warm tea (Decaffeinated)
3.  Watch something funny on TV
(I like The King of Queens)
4.  Memorize words from  the Bible
5.  TALK TO SOMEONE!   (Secrets hurt you)          

Hope this helped you.  You are not alone.  Please know I am still working through this fear, but acknowledging it helps.

NO MORE SILENCE!

Akhil


"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."
Psalm 23:4
2 Comments
Linda McNeley
2/26/2013 04:03:21 am

Akhil, you and Laura are helping so many. We aren't dealing with anything like what you are, but we are learning to gain control over a situation by letting Jesus lead our way. Thank you so much for sharing. Through our daughter and son-in-law, your family has become an extension of our own family so you are always in our thoughts and prayers.
I too have panic attacks. They come on suddenly and I feel like bursting with fear. Just getting to work is a wonderful miracle every day. Fear has a hayday with me. Pretty stupid but scary. I know the fear is not God's choosing, and that reminder always helps. I pray that God can help you keep the attacks at bay.

Reply
Melanie Bailey
2/27/2013 08:08:03 am

Thanks for sharing. I've reconnected with a past Christian friend in her 70's. I hope to get to share it with her soon. :O) All of you are in my prayers. Sorry, my source for jokes has dried up. :O( God bless you & YOURS. melanie bailey

Reply



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    The video is Akhil's journey with ALS.  Painful to see but the faith his family shows is uplifting.
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    Akhil and Laura Jhaveri

    Applying the skills they've learned in over 20 years of marriage, this couple faces the challenges of ALS together. MND or motor neuron disease is deadly with no known cure.  The Jhaveri family has to endure this battle and show the world God's love!

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