Fear and Anxiety

Feeling isolated in misery is a technique used by the enemy to win.  Suffering in silence helps nobody. 

That said, I am exposing a personal weakness in the hopes others will realize they are not alone.  My silence ends today!

I confess that recently I categorized all Social Anxiety Disorders in one neat package.  All mental disorders should be solved by mind over matter.  I reasoned, “Just be rational and stop acting foolish!”

Enter a teacher that showed me I was way off base...

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With my ALS I have muscle spasms.  My legs get rigid and I can’t move.  This rigidity is accompanied with pain.  Not horrible, but it still hurts. 

I was taking Baclofen on a daily basis to combat this spasticity, but there was an irritating side effect:  Itching.  My back, neck, and head itched badly enough to keep me up at night. 

The solution:  Switch from Baclofen to Tizanidine (different spasticity medicine)

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I took it at night before bed and then the fun started!

At 5am I got up in a cold sweat!  I couldn’t breathe.  Being unable to move (I have minimal muscle control) I felt like I was in a coffin!  I was experiencing a full blown panic attack. 

My panic seems to start for no reason. I was soaked in sweat in seconds and my head spun. I felt my heart was going to burst out my chest. I shook from head to toe.  Fear ran through my body. This feeling scared the hell out of me.



Logically I knew there was nothing wrong.  My left brain tried to reason with me.  No way!  I was convinced of some extreme and terrible, yet, unstoppable event was about to occur.  Terror!!

I pride myself as an intelligent person, but my mind could not reason itself out of this condition.

7am – My mind reset, the threat reduced (not eliminated).  I was not shaking anymore.

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Next night, I was off all drugs but I could not lie down in bed.  I was panicked about having another attack.  I stayed up all night, sitting in my wheelchair.  I hoped God would call me home NOW!  I was afraid this fear would never leave me!  I was losing my mind.

Anyone else feel anything like this?      

Please comment and let your voice be heard!





My solution:

1.  Avoid drugs that have psychotropic effects. 
(Read the small print!)
2.  Drink warm tea (Decaffeinated)
3.  Watch something funny on TV
(I like The King of Queens)
4.  Memorize words from  the Bible
5.  TALK TO SOMEONE!   (Secrets hurt you)          

Hope this helped you.  You are not alone.  Please know I am still working through this fear, but acknowledging it helps.

NO MORE SILENCE!

Akhil

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"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."
Psalm 23:4