Be Still!

Hi, I’m Ashley, 23, Akhil and Laura’s oldest daughter. 

ALS smashed through the walls of my life like the Kool-Aid man right around the time I graduated high school. Just as I thought I was beginning to make sense of the big weird world. 

There I was, 18 year old Ashley, staring at a pile of rubble, wondering, “What am I supposed to do now?”

So I ran away to YWAM.

I learned so much about faith while I was there: in LA, in Chile, in the Bay Area. I witnessed as God showed up in big ways and spoke loudly and lit up our paths right in the nick of time. 

Then I came home. 

And it all *vanished*.

I spent eight months building with bricks and marshmallow fluff. The rainy Pacific Northwest dissolved my “glue” in no time. 

So I found a new lot to build on. 

There were no materials there, so I made 3D art with gifts from strangers and a few of my old bricks and tried to call it shelter.

But I got tangled in weeds that grew from the seeds of unfiltered philosophical discussions in bars and in art school.

I spent a lot of time Where the Wild Things Are. 

Eventually I realized it was time to go home. 

Back to the lot with the pile of bricks, that stayed through the weather just fine. 

So here I am.

Back where I started. 

But with so much time wasted. So many useless regrets. 

I feel the pressure to make it COUNT this time; to compensate for those years I could have spent doing “better” things, to make the right choices, to work work work work work. 

I remember the Greatest Commands. And I’m WORKING on them. 

I’m working on everything. 

“Seems like you’re all work and no play,” a Lost Boy pointed out. 

“If I don’t, who else will?” I cried.

“Don’t forget to enjoy the soup Jesus has waiting for you.”