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Are We There Yet?   by Laura

12/1/2017

20 Comments

 
​November 30, 2017

“Am I close?” Akhil asks me as I prepare to say goodnight.  He is seeking answers about a subject I know next to nothing about.  My only experience with death was when I was 25 and my dad died after a two-year battle with lung cancer.  I bend over and lightly kiss his forehead and reluctantly admit the words he is longing to hear, “Yes, I think it will all be over soon.”  Upon hearing that, Akhil’s eyes well up with tears but he closes them quickly seeking the peace of slumber.

It has been a long battle with ALS and I think we are both weary and yet refuse to concede defeat.  For six and a half years, Akhil has known his fate.  For five years, he has required a caregiver as the disease gradually stripped him of his abilities.  First, he needed help buttoning and zipping his clothes, then he needed help eating until little by little he needed help with everything. 

As I leave Akhil in his hospital bed and settle into what was once the bed we shared, I listen for his breathing.  I hear the AVAP machine forcing air in and wait for him to exhale.  The oxygen machine is out in the hall feeding him through a long tube connected to his AVAP.  I can hear its pump slowly circulating to generate the oxygen Akhil needs for his next breath. Each breath is slow and deliberate with a pause in between. At times, the pause is longer and I wait expectantly for the beginning of the next breath.  Once I am convinced that the breaths are coming in a steady stream, I fall asleep.

When I awaken, I lie in bed for a few minutes and listen for the sounds of breathing coming from Akhil.  A couple of days ago, when I awoke, I didn’t hear anything except the rush of oxygen into Akhil’s mask.  I laid still waiting and wondering if this was it.  It seemed like minutes passed as I had time to question how I would tell the kids, would I wake them up at this early hour to tell them or just let them sleep?  Before I could determine an answer, I heard the sound I had been waiting for.  Today wasn’t the day after all.  Akhil will have another opportunity to ask, "Are we there yet?"
20 Comments
Chadd
12/1/2017 10:38:16 am

I’m amazed at your story and your strength. I have not been there for the day to day struggle, and I know you would likely dispute the word “strength”.

Your family has shown so much love and joy to the world through this painful experience. The day will come for all of us when we know as we are known. Until that day comes we continue the race set before us.

I hope that Akhil will be willing to show me the gemstones in his crown when we get to heaven. I suspect he’ll not have a shortage.

Reply
Pam Hough
12/1/2017 10:45:36 am

Laura... I'm coming to Oregon mid December for 3 or 4 weeks. I hope to spend sometime with you. I'll never forget the day you called and told me about Akhil and this journey you're sharing. I love you guys. I will call.

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Laura
12/2/2017 05:33:30 am

I will look forward to seeing you! It has been too long, my friend!

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Mitzy Zahm
12/1/2017 11:17:49 am

Oh Laura... As I read this... I remember the same experience... Ron in the hospital bed next to me... me in the chair bed.... listening for breaths... He asked me to help him be done... Hard stuff my sweet friend.... but in this case too, His Grace is sufficient. My love to you and Alhil, my prayers are with you

Reply
Laura
12/2/2017 05:32:47 am

Mitzy, I have been dwelling on Mark 4 - where Jesus calms the storm. In the passage, it mentions that there were other boats with them. I find comfort in knowing others have weathered the same storm and have come out the other side.

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Susan Fike
12/1/2017 11:49:21 am

Laura my thoughts and prayers are with you. I admire your strength and spirituality.
May God’s love be with you all.

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Bo
12/1/2017 01:36:46 pm

So much love to you, friends.

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Martie Dick
12/1/2017 04:15:10 pm

Your journey has been long your strength stronger. You and your family and faith amaze me.

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Julie
12/1/2017 04:35:09 pm

I praise God for the simple fact that you all belong to Him. The journey has been hard, but His presence has been unmistakable. Our family holds you in our prayers.

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Tim & Chris Payne
12/1/2017 06:31:25 pm

Your faith, courage, hope, ALS, suffering, devistaion, pain, loss, is being rewarded and and transformed into eternal perfection, unspeakable joy, complete wholeness in the presence of Jesus! Tim and I send you our love and prayers. We believe, we hope, we love you!

Reply
Stacey Novak
12/1/2017 07:33:24 pm

Laura and Akhil- you may not remember me or my husband, but we sat at your table a few years ago at the ALS gala. It was so special to see the love you share for each other & with your daughters.
My heart is sad, but knowing your continued faith in God and love for each other will last forever gives me peace.
May the Lord be with you and your family.
A PALS in Portland,
Stacey Novak

Reply
Aimee Alberd
12/1/2017 07:34:08 pm

I read this with tears streaming down my face knowing the time is quickly approaching. Simply amazed at the journey your family has been on these past few years and how it has shaped each of you. The faith all of you have shown to so many is beyond words. I pray now more than ever that God is encircling you in is arms and that Akhil will be home soon. I know my Dad is there waiting for him.

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Laura
12/2/2017 05:36:40 am

Thank you, Amy. Your family holds a special place in our hearts. That will be a joyous reunion for sure!

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David Henson
12/2/2017 06:46:40 pm

Laura we are and have always been inspired by you and Akhil's faith! We are thankful to have been invited into your home for bible study years ago. We think and pray of you and Akhil often.We stand with you all in prayer through this difficult struggle. Thank you for keeping us informed of the fight. We continue to pray for strengh and healing.

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Deanna Koehler
12/2/2017 11:04:06 pm

Oh Laura, I have read "Akhil's Thoughts" from the beginning, evey single one, and have been praying for all of you. I know you, Akhil, and the girls have lost much. Yet in the loss, past and future, I see many sweet moments that have been captured that you and the girls will, undoubtedly, treasure for the rest of your lives. I'm so sorry this terrible disease has wreaked such havoc on all of you. I am praying now, that when God chooses to usher Akhil into his presence, that it will be swift and peaceful. Love to all, Deanna

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Teresa R Linberg
12/3/2017 02:44:45 pm

Laura I can not imagine what you both & the girls have gone through. You are all so loved. I will be praying for you all.
God Bless & Love
Teresa

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Fuzzu link
12/4/2017 08:45:36 am

Our love and hugs with all of you. Truly Inspirational. Humanness Awesomeness.
Blessings to all.

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Deb Leahy
12/4/2017 09:26:35 am

Laura, my heart goes out to yuou. You are truly walking on holy ground and I know you know the Lord is with you and Akhil in every moment. What a road you all have traveled, but your testimony has been faithful and honest. I pray for you both often and will pray especially now.

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Susan Jones
12/4/2017 06:22:31 pm

I wish I had the words to comfort you both at this time. I am thankful you have trusted God to see you through this journey. Laura, you and Akhil have been such inspirations to so many - before and after the diagnosis. I am so thanful for knowing you. I love you.

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Debbie Olson
12/5/2017 06:29:18 am

Oh, my goodness, Laura, you are the epitome of Grace, both through this terrible season of sickness and loss, but also before this time, as a wife and mother, loving the Lord, living each day for Him. You and Akhil's love for one and other shines like a beacon, a modern day love story to rival any romance novel! Together you've made your home a haven of love and Christian ideals, combined wirh a whole lot of fun for your girls! What beautiful, amazing young women you and Akhil and the Lord have raised. I stand in awe.
Thank you for allowing me to stay in touch through your beautiful writings. Akhil's story is achingly sad, full of moments that have sent me for a box of kleenex. But his story is also one of an amazing man of God, who has faced his future with grace and dignity, always putting the feelings of his family first. Akhil has continued to serve his God, even as his physical status changed. Akhil, I am honored to have known you. Thank you for being my friend so long ago in Castle Hill

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    The video is Akhil's journey with ALS.  Painful to see but the faith his family shows is uplifting.
    ​
    God continues to show his love for us through his people.  Thank you to everyone who has reached out to us, prayed for us, visited Akhil, brought us a meal and served us however God led you to serve.  Continue to follow those urgings from God in serving those who are struggling.

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    Akhil and Laura Jhaveri

    Applying the skills they've learned in over 20 years of marriage, this couple faces the challenges of ALS together. MND or motor neuron disease is deadly with no known cure.  The Jhaveri family has to endure this battle and show the world God's love!

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