How did it get so late so soon?
    Its night before its afternoon.
       December is here before its June.
          My goodness how the time has flewn.
             How did it get so late so soon?  ~ Dr. Seuss

Last week my mom visited me from Dallas, Texas.  My mom is retired, has been for thirty years. She is eighty years old and is able to travel and do lots of painting.


She is a very talented artist and is educated with Montessori training. In other words, she’s trained to be a teacher and she is very good with children.  I mean look at how I turned out! (smile)

I tell you all this because today, my mom spends most of her time either cooking or watching TV. My mom can’t operate her flip phone (too complicated!).  But she has a very complicated satellite setup in her home with multiple providers of entertainment television. All controlled by a remote control that baffles me! This controller is nothing to my mom! When you watch her operate it, you think you are at NASA. It is a thing of beauty to watch her operate the controls.

This is important because where there’s a will there is a way. My mom has a will to watch television, therefore, she is able to do it. 

Why am I really telling you all this stuff? Who really cares? 

I am haunted by a quote that I heard a long time ago “Time flies over us, but leaves its shadow behind.” I think about this concept and it bothers me. While my mom was visiting me, I found myself wishing I had more time. Time to teach, time to reach others. My mom has this ability but chooses not to, I don’t have that ability and I want to.

Then it hit me.  My mom is teaching me how to reach other people. When she cooks for her family and friends, she’s showing that she cares about them. When she comes to visit me, she shows me that even though she is eighty, distance does not matter, she loves me more than the difficulty of travel. 

 Her ability to operate a complex controller shows me you are never too old to learn! Also with her TV watching, she shows me that we all have time to do the things we want to do.  Is watching TV all the time good? I don’t want to judge. Maybe when I am eighty perhaps, I might want to do that too.  All I am saying is you get to choose how you spend your time.

Right now, I choose to spend my time writing my blog, reading scripture and preparing to be healed.  In my mind I have planned on what I will do when I am able to walk and talk again. I know that day is coming so I am prepared. 

 I like to think about the words of Coco Chanel who said, “Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.”  What does that mean? To me, it means accept where I am, but prepared for it to change for the better! 

I don’t need to think about where I am and why I got here. That is wasted time.  Instead I choose to occupy my time with things that lift me up and lift up people around me. 

How does this relate to you? As with my mom’s example, you’re never too old to learn something new. Also with my mom’s example, you can spend time doing whatever you have in your heart. 

With my example, no matter your circumstances, you can always keep a positive attitude and help other people, if by nothing more than your smile.  I’ve found that many people are encouraged by watching me struggle all the while with a smile on my face. I have learned that the world is watching.  The way I behave influences  other people.

What are your circumstances? Are they positive or negative? How do you think others see you? Most importantly, what is the imprint you are leaving?

Think about these questions as you make your next move. See you next week.

Remember, tough times don’t last but tough people do.

I want to start off with a funny story. 

There was an engineer who worked for Intel. He was walking to a nearby building when  he happened to walk by a pond and heard, "Hey buddy pick me up." The engineer looked around and saw a frog. Again the frog said "Hey, pick me up." The engineer did just that. 

The frog said "If you kiss me I'll turn into a beautiful woman." The engineer smiled and put the frog into his pocket. 

The frog said "Seriously, if you kiss me I'll turn into a woman and give you a big kiss." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and put the frog back into his pocket.

Frustrated, the frog yelled, "If you kiss me I will do anything you want!" The engineer pulled the frog from his pocket and said, "I am an engineer with a very busy schedule. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, NOW THAT'S COOL!"

I tell you this story because sometimes we don't know if we hear God or not. We ask ourselves, "God I can't hear you, are you there?"

The mistake most people make is not doing anything until they get a sign. God is clear that he wants us to move and then the sign will follow.

It takes faith to move forward and that's all God cares about, your faith. 

This blog post is an act of faith. I am writing this for someone who is sitting on the sidelines and waiting for a sign to move.

Have faith, He is with you and will pick you up if you fall down, and guide you if you fall off the path.  The important thing is MOVE!

"I'm sure you have been enjoying all your health, especially after the ordeal you have endured.  I wanted to remind you of what it was like, because I know how easy it is to forget the bad times. I know the mind blocks painful memories by simply suppressing them. I think it is important to carry the miracle of your healing with all of its pain.  

"Let's start at the beginning. You were diagnosed with ALS in July of 2011. You rejected that diagnosis. Maybe that was just denial, but regardless, your health declined. You foolishly continued to work until December of 2012. 

"Fortunately, you took a vacation with your family, a cruise. It was fortunate because you were healthy enough to enjoy the time with your family. I want to remind you that it was the last trip that you would take without assistance. I want to remind you of the pain you felt when you realized that independent travel was over.

"Finally you made some promises to yourself. I want to list these promises for you incase you have forgotten. 

1. You were going to teach/preach about the goodness of Jesus. 
2. You were going to setup a ministry for healing others. 
3. You were going to take your family on another cruise, without any assistance! 
4.  You were going to continue with your blog. 

"Did you do all these things, Akhil? Did you remember how you felt? Did you remember how you wanted to do the most basic things for yourself, but couldn't? 

"Akhil, I don't know where you are today. I do know that God loves you and has always had big plans for you. These plans scared you and you wanted to press the eject button but God was with you.  Say, ' hi' to Russell and his family for me. Remind them how they were part of the miracle!"

No, I am not schizophrenic.  I know that I am going to be healed. And I do not want to forget what it felt like to have ALS. I wanted to write a letter to myself to capture the experience. Maybe some of you can get an insight into what is going on in my mind right now. Maybe some of you can benefit from my positive thinking. Or, maybe not :-)

Tell me what you think, I am curious. And by the way, if you could give your future YOU advice, in two or three words, what would it be? For me it would be, be grateful!

Suicide, according to Webster’s: “ to take ones own life”.

Suicide, according to Akhil: “to end a long ordeal”.

I asked those questions last week on my blog because I was contemplating how to end my long ordeal. Of course I’m talking about ALS.

Because of my thoughts, I wanted to hear answers to three important questions:

1.     Is there a God?
2.      Is Jesus my Lord and Savior? (Does he really love me?)
3.      Is there any reason to stay here? (Can I check out early?)

I got some interesting answers from lots of people. I was actually amazed how many people responded. I was most amazed by God’s response!

Yes, God responded to my questions.

Here’s what happened. My big question really was, “Does God really care about me?  Does he know I am struggling? Is he asleep at the switch?”

He knew I needed encouragement. It came in the form of two people: Tim and Phil.

I have known Tim since I was sixteen. We used to play Dungeons and Dragons together. (Don’t judge me!) We also had the most insane friends and we did all sorts of things that would be considered priceless by the producers of "Jackass"! Nonetheless, we survived and are friends today.

Tim lives in California, near LA, and does graphic design.

He came to visit me on Tuesday of last week. We reminisced over old times and laughed a lot. That was encouraging, but that was not the answer from God.

The answer from God came as Tim was leaving. I was in the middle of being fed through my tube and I looked over at Tim and said, “I am sorry you have to see me this way.” Tim responded: “I don’t see anything. All I see is my friend, someone with whom I have a long history!”

I was imagining how people saw me: sick, helpless, useless.

Through Tim I saw how God saw me: Akhil.

Chalk one up for God!

What about the other question: Is there any reason to stay here? (Can I check out early?)

Phil Camden is someone I don’t know. He’s from Australia right outside of Sydney and was the senior pastor of Hillsong Church.

If you know the music of Hillsong, you know it is very impactful. Last year two things happened to Phil.  First, he was diagnosed with ALS and second, he found my blog.

He commented on my blog and we stayed in touch over the internet. Last week, he had an occasion to meet with a relative in Portland! He contacted us and asked to come visit. On Saturday he came over to my house. We talked and I asked him if he ever thought about an early checkout.

The answer from God came through Phil who said, “I want to keep ministering to the people as long as I have breath. Although I have stepped down as senior pastor and I have retired, I still have opportunities to help other people find their way.”

He continued, “You also have an opportunity to help others.”  I was surprised and asked him what he was talking about. I told him I can’t move and I can barely talk.

He told me that my blog was the vehicle. He said that although people don’t always comment, I am changing hearts all over the world. He finished by saying, “Even if no one else reads it, I do!  Keep writing for me.”

You can see God's timing. When I needed an answer, God showed up!

In summary: I still have purpose, as long as God has me here, I still can contribute.

So there you have it. God does exist, he sent his son for me (and you), and I need to stick around to see how this movie ends.

TO BE CONTINUED…