Blog Archives

What's the point?

3/26/2013

“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on”
― Robert Frost

It doesn’t matter how bad you may be feeling right now, I am there with you or at least I was last week. If not for the overwhelming care from my wife, I would have gladly selected death over my current life.

Everyday seemed to last an eternity and seemingly impossible to get through.

It felt as if I had a blanket of depression draped over me while I struggled through hour after hour of what felt like a meaningless existence. When the morning entered my room each day, my mind was flooded with the sickening realization I had to find a way to get through another torturous day. Another day Where I needed help eating, getting dressed, even using the bathroom!

Humbling to say the least.

My mom in the background

I am supposed to be the father, husband, provider and protector.

Not anymore!

I felt weak, incapable, broken, and worthless. If I were to go away, I would remove a burden from my family. That’s where my mind took me.

I felt doomed and with the progressive nature of my disease, my future looked bleak. I couldn’t see a path where I could regain my life.

My beautiful sister-in-law, Linda with Corinne & Jordan

The problem with making predictions in this state of mind is that your life and your future are dynamic. Your future is shaped by your attitudes, behaviors, and perceptions, not perceived inevitable destinations.

In other words, how you perceive your life and your future dictates your destination.

Your attitude drastically influences what actions you will to take to improve your future.

If life feels pointless and overwhelming, or even if you're just having trouble understanding why you should be enthusiastic about your future, change focus.

Find a reason to keep going, even if you can't see how it makes sense at the moment.

Find a person that needs you, the most cherished person in your life. Hold on and don't let go. Mine was my wife. She provides for my every need and I in turn am there to be an ear, a cheerleader, a best friend for her.

Recently it was pointed out that each day is ripe with opportunities to make heaven out of hell or vice versa.

Said differently, we have to control our minds every single day. We cannot let our minds rule, at least I can’t let my mind rule, because it will drive me off a cliff!
(Just being honest)

Life is a series of tests and every time we pass a test we become stronger, wiser, and more ready to pass the next test.

I was in a tough spot, fighting depression, but I was there for a reason just as you are in your current place for a reason.

God does have a plan for you and me. He has a plan for friends too! Our friends have been a blessing to our family with meals! These meals relieve Laura and have helped tremendously. A friend setup a calendar for meals if you would like to help Laura with meals, goto:
Website: www.takethemameal.com
Login: Jhaveri
PW: laura

Thanks for all the love you are showing, which afterall, is the point!

Akhil

5 Comments

Wonderful Photo Montage

3/18/2013

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ALS: Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis
ALS: "A Love Story" - Laura Jhaveri

My lovely wife pointed out a fact I had missed: ALS has shown our family more love than ever. I started to think about her words and realized she was right. I am feeling more love from family & friends since my diagnosis and certainly after my retirement.

ALS is a love story! What a fabulous way to look at life, thanks Laura, you are my rock and I can't do this without you.

Here is a quick review of all the amazing people that have become my life as a result of my ALS.
To all of you I send out a big Thank-you!

A party to celebrate my mom's 79th birthday

Dr. Goslin, my neurologist, made a house call! What? Awseome doctor!

Dawna, a Reflexologist, works on helping me regain what ALS has taken

Lori Davis, teaches me how to play Cribbage. She spends time with me every Monday. We talk about all sorts of things and I love it!

ALS is a lonely disease. Why? Because I can't move without help. Once I am put in a chair or bed, that's where I'll stay until moved again.

I find myself alone often. Not complaining, it's just the way it is. Like I said, lonely.

That is why I LOVE company. Just to talk or watch a movie.

My favorite mother-in-law. She is so thoughtful and is always sending me gifts!

Above is another friend, Erica. Like I said, "I love company!"

My new hero: Steve Stern. Former pastor now challenged with ALS. He is showing me the way when I lose sight of the path.

His wife, Bo, is another gem! Talk about the energizer bunny. She is a dynamo and has the best blog: www.bostern.com

Bo and me (That's how I look when I am with a superstar)

Tess and Victoria Stern. Gorgeous!

The lovely Dr. Goslin at the ALS Gala. Isn't she amazing?!

Finally we end the love story in my ... bathroom.

This picture requires explanation, trust me, it is an act of LOVE.

Monica and Will Bins, friends of ours came over and solved a huge problem for me.

My shower has a 6" step and is something I can't get my leg to go over. Also there was a constant fear of falling while in the shower. Water+soap+ALS - not a good combo.

Monica and Will designed and made a ramp system for the shower. I now sit in the chair and safely get shined and buffed!

Wow, what a gift!!

John 15:12
This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.

8 Comments

Enough!

3/11/2013

7 Comments

“We do not sing because we are happy,
we are happy because we sing.”
-William James

“I’ve had enough!” I am sitting with a plate full of food in front of me. I am trying to eat but my hands and fingers won’t cooperate. I spill food on the table, smear it on my face and can’t get it in my mouth. I’m trying, but the more I try, the more frustrated I become. I throw the spoon down and scream, “Enough! I can’t do this anymore!"

My mind is thinking, “Wednesday-Thursday-Friday.”
(Look at the initials, you’ll get it)

Then my mind takes me to a dark place: My future...

I think to myself, “You think this is bad Akhil, wait six months when more of your muscles quit working. It's only going to get worse!”

How long do I have to endure this? Isn’t this like a movie? If I don’t like it, I get up and leave. When do I get to leave this ALS movie? I know how it ends – it sucks, wrong, it suffocates!!

I want out, NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

Then I heard God …

“Akhil let’s talk about your 'self-talk', the messages you are sending to your brain and subconscious mind. These words are not the only a mechanism through which you communicate, there’s body language involved.

"Imagine if someone approaches you to shake your hand and their shoulders are slumped, their head down, and they cannot even look you in the eye, they are communicating at various levels.

“In this same manner, when you stand up straight, throw your shoulders back, and speak in a commanding tone, don’t you feel more confident? Why? You are the same person with the same level of competency, knowledge, and skill. Just as our slump shouldered fellow communicated to you that he was not confident or competent by his body language, you convey to your own conscious and subconscious mind that you are confident and in control by your body language.

“Emotion follows motion!

“If you can get your arms around this concept, you will amaze yourself (and others). It is one of the most powerful and easy to use methods of controlling your mind and emotions available.

“Sadly it is little understood and rarely used. When you sing, what are you conveying to your conscious and subconscious minds? Isn’t your body language enthusiastic, the words emotional, driven into your brain with rhythm and melody?

“Use your body to create states of mind. If you want to be enthusiastic, act enthusiastic. If you want to be confident, fake it ‘til you make it. Emotion follows motion.”

Ok, I put those words to the test.

I sat up straight, I took the spoon, spilled more food and then magically food was in my mouth. I stayed focused on NOW.

Tomorrow will take care of itself.

Then I sang to myself: One day at a time, sweet Jesus

Before I knew it, I was smiling.

7 Comments

Cute Video

3/6/2013

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When Jordan was around 3, we taught her the story of Adam & Eve. To see if she "got it" - I asked her to tell me the story. Being a drama queen, she took my New Testament and started to read.

BTW, She could not read, but that didn't stop her!

Enjoy this 5 minute gem.

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The video is Akhil's journey with ALS. Painful to see but the faith his family shows is uplifting.

God continues to show his love for us through his people. Thank you to everyone who has reached out to us, prayed for us, visited Akhil, brought us a meal and served us however God led you to serve. Continue to follow those urgings from God in serving those who are struggling.

Akhil and Laura Jhaveri

Applying the skills they've learned in over 20 years of marriage, this couple faces the challenges of ALS together. MND or motor neuron disease is deadly with no known cure. The Jhaveri family has to endure this battle and show the world God's love!

About Akhil

His journey is described in the "ALS and Akhil " tab