I hope you find yourself reading this post to give you insight into different situations you will have in your life.
You can't learn and do at the same time. This is me, training you; learn from me, now.
Let me address your acquaintances and new friends. When you see my daughter crying about the loss of her dad, you may want to say, "Your dad is in a better place,” or “God needed him more,” or “I lost my mom when I was your age.”
STOP, don't say any of that! Very few people know what to say, so allow me to teach you. There is only one response that is acceptable: “I am sorry for your loss,” followed by, “Is there anything I can do for you?”
Let me address family members and close friends.
When you see my daughter crying, ask her to tell you a funny story about her Dad.
This question actually starts the healing process. Talking about the good times will make you laugh, then cry and laugh some more. I promise that over time as you recount the stories the tears will become fewer and you will be able to breathe.
By the way, Corinne, I had shorts on when I flagged down your bus. (Inside joke.)
A few years ago one of the managers I worked with was invited to a customer appreciation cocktail party. There were many people invited and my colleague didn't know anyone. Panic was setting in.
He asked me to join him.”Why?” I asked him. He told me something very interesting. He said, “You know how to work a room. Somehow, you know how to meet people and know exactly what to say.” I agreed to go with him. I waited outside the party; making sure many guests and my "date" had arrived.
Here’s my secret: I walked in laughing and waving at several people before I met with my friend. When I spotted the host, I made my way over to him so he knew who I was. I could have done the boring, "Hi, my name is Akhil." Instead, I prefer the following, "Awesome turn out! My wife is always saying, ‘Akhil, you should wear a name tag because Akhil is hard to remember.’ Come on, Akhil, isn't that hard to remember, is it? You probably just think I wanna kill you and that helps you remember a-kill. Anyway, great party!”
Amazed, my friend asked me, “How is it possible that you know people here, including the host?” I told him, “I didn't know anyone. All the people I waved to, I didn't know any of them either.”
He said, “Then why did you do that?”
Simple, everyone who saw me said the same thing to themselves, "who is that and why don't I know him?"
Sure enough, several people came over and introduced themselves.
Shhh, this is our secret!
By the way, I have learned that ignorant people are not interested in facts or a compelling argument. They already exist in a happy, blissful state. I don't want to screw up their vibe with reality, so I don’t!
How to create a big problem: Simple, you take a small problem, purposely put it in the corner and forget about it.
I have found that successful leaders don’t get caught up in arguments and they know how to confront problems head-on. My next blog will address more leadership and success issues so stay tuned!