That was me four years ago. The only terminal disease I had was life! This blog post is for all of you who are like the healthy me; the one thinking that life would continue forever in this healthy state until one day many, many years from now, I would die peacefully in my sleep, a death and life devoid of suffering.
That line of thinking can lead to a blissful life, but also, neglect of some important things associated with the unpleasantness of dying. While I was healthy, I made some smart moves and some not-so-smart moves. I thought you might be able to benefit from my experience.
Before I get going, I want to say that most of the smart things I did were because of my wife, Laura. The dumb things, those were all mine! So the first smart thing you should do is partner up with someone smarter than you. Fortunately for me, I found Laura. She is very intelligent and can handle finances. I think it is because of the way she was raised, her MBA doesn’t hurt either.
That line of thinking can lead to a blissful life, but also, neglect of some important things associated with the unpleasantness of dying. While I was healthy, I made some smart moves and some not-so-smart moves. I thought you might be able to benefit from my experience.
Before I get going, I want to say that most of the smart things I did were because of my wife, Laura. The dumb things, those were all mine! So the first smart thing you should do is partner up with someone smarter than you. Fortunately for me, I found Laura. She is very intelligent and can handle finances. I think it is because of the way she was raised, her MBA doesn’t hurt either.
In the beginning, Laura and I shared the money we made. That is until I inadvertently got Laura’s yearend bonus check. I thought to myself, “Free money! We never had it so we would never miss it.” I went to Best Buy and bought six televisions! Smart or dumb, you make the call. Laura told me it was not my brightest moment. From that point on there was no shared money- it was all Laura’s!
By the way, that was the smartest thing I did. Laura started a savings account and an investment portfolio. If left up to me, I would have spent everything we made! It would have been fun! I would have apparently been behaving like the average American. Then when ALS hit, we would have been in a tough financial place.
By the way, that was the smartest thing I did. Laura started a savings account and an investment portfolio. If left up to me, I would have spent everything we made! It would have been fun! I would have apparently been behaving like the average American. Then when ALS hit, we would have been in a tough financial place.
The next thing I did when I was in my twenties was to get life insurance. The dumb part of me knew I was immortal but the smart part of me (Laura) made me realize that I would need life insurance for my family. I’m glad I got life insurance when I was healthy because thanks to a diagnosis of ALS I am uninsurable. Once you realize that you are indeed going to die, it is too late to purchase life insurance. Once the life insurance companies know you are destined to die in the near future, your life is no longer a good investment for them.
Another thing I did was to make out a will and establish an advanced directive for my health care. I knew I would never need a will but on the off chance that I would die, I wanted everyone to know how to distribute the $23.55 that I would leave behind. All joking aside, this is important for your family to know what you want when they are in a time of grief. Also, having an advanced health directive allows your family to know your wishes should you need medical decisions made by someone on your behalf in your last days
Should you not live to see your ninety’s, your family will treasure memories and photographs. We tried to make lots of memories as a family especially around the holidays. We have many traditions which seem to revolve around an abundance of food, as well as activities that involve the whole family. With my condition today, my role in the holiday customs is being carried on by my children. It is wonderful to watch them enjoy the traditions we have created.
In today’s age of technology, most of us have successfully captured every significant life-event in some form of media. When will we have time to watch them? It’s wonderful to have all this media but the trick is to organize the information in a meaningful way.
Right now you are thinking, “I’m going to do that someday when I have time.” Guess what, you will never have time! I organized all my media by date. That was not difficult. The challenge was to make a small presentation from thousands of photos and video clips in the form of several short slide shows. It took a little bit of time but my family can enjoy reliving a lifetime of memories in a few minutes. I uploaded them to YouTube to a private channel so my family will have access to them when I’m gone. It turns out that my children love them so much they watch them with their friends today! Who would have thought?
In today’s age of technology, most of us have successfully captured every significant life-event in some form of media. When will we have time to watch them? It’s wonderful to have all this media but the trick is to organize the information in a meaningful way.
Right now you are thinking, “I’m going to do that someday when I have time.” Guess what, you will never have time! I organized all my media by date. That was not difficult. The challenge was to make a small presentation from thousands of photos and video clips in the form of several short slide shows. It took a little bit of time but my family can enjoy reliving a lifetime of memories in a few minutes. I uploaded them to YouTube to a private channel so my family will have access to them when I’m gone. It turns out that my children love them so much they watch them with their friends today! Who would have thought?
Finally, and most importantly, if you haven’t already, establish a spiritual foundation for your family. When I got married I was an agnostic, raised by a Hindu and a Catholic. Laura was Catholic but not practicing. We recognized that in today’s immoral world, we needed a spiritual foundation for our family. After visiting various Christian churches, we found one where we felt comfortable. As we studied and our faith grew, we felt well-equipped to handle whatever life threw at us. Our faith has gotten us through a lot of dark days.
I hope after reading this, you can say, “I am in good shape, I have already done all that!” If not, what are you waiting for MF?
MF = My Friend, what were you thinking?
I hope after reading this, you can say, “I am in good shape, I have already done all that!” If not, what are you waiting for MF?
MF = My Friend, what were you thinking?
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