A Bit Empty

12/19/2012

After much comtemplation and prayer I have decided to "Hang it up!"

I gave my notice to POWER and told them this year will be my last. I am going on disability starting January 2013.

It was unsettelling to setup a final exit interview with HR.

I know it was expected, but to say, "December 28th will be my last day," still shocked my brain.

I started working at age 19 and am "retiring" before I am 50.

Anyone have words to help me shake this "Empty feeling"? After all these years working then nothing, wow. I almost feel like I am getting my affairs in order before ...

Yes, I am acting like a "Drama Queen."

I should be happy, but am a little sad.

My boss, Chris, wrote an excellent "exit" letter expressing all I did for the company. He went further and said my legacy will live on. The systems, tools and processes I created will be used as I leave to help grow POWER.

Again, shouldn't I be happy?

9 Comments

Susan

12/19/2012 10:44:35 am

I have often thought about what my life will be like when I finally retire Akhil. I, like you, have worked since I was a teenager and I guess work is a big part of who we are. At the same time my friend, your circumstances are so different from those of a normal retiree. YOu have an illness looming over your head and, in a big way, dictating what you can and can't do physically. I don't know what advice I can give you Akhil, but I will pray for you to experience God's hand in this newest challenge. I do believe He always has a plan...I do believe He can heal you at any time and I claim healing in your name daily Akhil. I love all of you, Susan

Akhil

12/19/2012 11:15:27 am

I know God has a plan but what about now!?

Dixie

12/19/2012 11:30:36 am

Letting go of anything can cause mixed emotions. Even letting go of negative emotions can cause a sort of deep sadness. Those emotions, if held tightly, become our constant companion. To let go it to change and change brings emotions of grief, loss and sorrow along with peace, contentment and joy. So it is no wonder that letting go of something where you felt pride, accomplishment and leadership would bring all sort of emotions.

Something I learned in the last couple of years as I worked through pain: there are no bad or good emotions (feelings). They just ARE. Feel them. Process them. Experience the feeling and embrace it, even the ones that confuse and stir tears. They just are. And they are all holy.

What now? Perhaps you already know. Writing, sharing, and caring for your health may be your new full-time job.

Akhil

12/19/2012 12:58:19 pm

They just are! You are right Dixie. Embrace them. Thanks

Fuzzy link

12/19/2012 02:17:27 pm

Akhil, harsh as it may sound and easy as I may say it. .. I love you... I have been inspired by you... Your existence has inspired and shall inspire others.. That I will ensure... that's the life-print you have made.... like the foot print on the moon.. . we should stop feeling sorry for our 'self' and our life. we are not retiring. Retiring is getting tired over and over again. we are just shifting roles in life.
Who knows what the divine order be... we are but to experience and see.... I leave this for the reader below.. Hugs and Love.. Just Breathe... Just Breathe... There is much secret in the Breath.. xxxxx

Q. What is the true meaning of life?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Ah...this you better find out for yourself. Don't ask the meaning from me. It's like asking me to chew your candy for you. It is not possible.

And it is useless to find a meaning. See -- a flower blooms; what is the purpose of beauty? What is the purpose of joy? There is no purpose to joy; it is the end in itself. You may say it's strange. Life when lived in its totality is the end in itself and beginning in itself. Love, joy, beauty -- all that is precious and valuable in life is really beyond value, beyond meaning, beyond purpose.

Be with this question. I can tell you one thing: you are very fortunate that this question arises in your mind. One in a million people will sincerely get this question. It means that you have started your journey toward the light.

Be with this question, and don't be in a hurry to get a ready-made answer from somebody. Go deep into yourself and you will find out.

Fuzzy link

12/19/2012 02:26:03 pm

I love this... LOL..
We ARE Enlightened.
"In-Light-end" when we drop the Intellect.
See we exist in 7 layers.. Body, Breath, Mind, Intellect, Memory, Ego and Self. Give a ponder on each one in you... it's very interesting..
Love ya.
Fuzzy

Q. Is Enlightenment really possible for the average person?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Yes, a big yes!

Actually, Enlightenment is easier for an ordinary person than for someone who thinks that they are special. You see, when someone thinks they are special, their ego becomes involved. They think, "I am a great teacher." "I am a great writer." This is ego.

Enlightenment is dropping the ego. Whenever someone is ordinary, simple, innocent and natural, that itself is Enlightenment. Your very nature is Enlightenment. It is in you already in seed form. When you drop all the tensions and become natural, then it is right in your hand. We simply need to let go of the old patterns that are in the mind. Then you see that something beautiful in you dawns and flowers.

Enlightenment is the very core of your Being. Go into the core of your-self and live your life from there.

We all came into this world gifted with innocence, but gradually, as we became more intelligent, we lost our innocence. We were all born with silence, but as we grew up, we lost the silence and were filled with words. We once lived in our hearts, and as time passed, we moved into our heads.

Now, the reversal of this journey is Enlightenment. It is the journey from the head back to the heart, from words back to silence -- getting back to our innocence in spite of our intelligence. Although very simple, this is a great achievement.

Sue Simons

12/19/2012 05:01:02 pm

I know exactly how you feel! When I realized I was not capable of being the type of employee that employers wanted, that i had to work a lot less than they wanted and even at that, couldn't be dependable, it hurt - alot! It still hurts - like the other day when our nephew's wife said that all people on disability are taking advantage of the system - that no one is disabled enough to work -- wow -- that really hurt! Then I realized, she's too young and hasn't had the physical challenges I've had since I was 4 - well, I had to "brush it off" and move on. If she could just see me right now - my feet, ankles, and legs so swollen - it's just unreal!

I know that my challenges are not the same as yours and that with all likely hood, you'll end up getting to go home to see Jesus, The Father and Holy Ghost before me, we are in a similar boat.

My prayer for you is that no one says the ugly things that I've had said to me! Go for the disability - you'll be approved immediately and while usually people have to wait 2 yrs for medical benefits, they have been known to waive that - I pray that is true for you! We've both paid into the system and that's why it's there. Don't be afraid to use it!

Much Love to my Christian Brother!

Cecelia Henderson link

12/20/2012 09:33:05 am

Akhil, retirement isn't an easy transition for anyone. So much of who we are is tied up in what we do, have done, can do. You need to find some things that you enjoy and start doing them NOW! Watch funny movies. Read fun books. Listen to the music that you love. Hold your beautiful wife close to you!

Did you receive the email that I sent to you yesterday? It may have gone into your junk folder, because it included a message forwarded from Joseph Prince. I understand sadness, depression, and fear all too well having struggled with these my whole life. Praising God continually and using the "I AM" statement does help tremendously. "I AM PERFECT. I AM WHOLE. I AM HAPPY. I AM BLESSED. I AM LOVED. I AM HEALTHY. I HAVE PEACE." Because, YOU ARE THE PERFECTION OF CHRIST. He loves you so very much.

There are many examples in the Bible where men praised God in unlikely and seemingly hopeless situations, and God greatly blessed them for this:

http://www.hopeforhopeless.net/praise_him_in_the_storm.aspx

You are loved by many, Akhil. I want to come by and see you soon! I have developed a slight cold, so I think I will give it a couple of days and then check in with you to see if you are up to company.

God bless your heart and mind this day with peace and joy. In His name. Amen.

Cecelia

Janet

12/22/2012 08:58:08 am

Congratulations on your retirement. When anything in this worldly life comes to an end there is a loss and grief. There is a time for everything under the sun.

Blessings.

Akhil and Laura Jhaveri

Applying the skills they've learned in over 20 years of marriage, this couple faces the challenges of ALS together. MND or motor neuron disease is deadly with no known cure. The Jhaveri family has to endure this battle and show the world God's love!

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